Capricorn 20° (January 10)

Slept in thanks to some gummies. Today is first day in a long time when I’ve felt truly rested. Still I have to pace myself and make today a long day. Need to schedule time to go back to VW plus do a sweep through Orleans for a shop. Had some eggs and chicken sausage for Monday brunch and going to spend the day getting all the proverbial ducks in a row. Will resume writing the book tomorrow and pretty excited about that. I should do some banking today for sure and continue the clear out of papers and such and make a schedule for moving into the cottage. I need to review photos for the place. It is still January but we know how quickly time can fly. I can buy a few things here meanwhile without any trouble. Going to try and get my hairs cut but nothing is open. Another day perhaps. I will run errands and breeze through the hypermarché and oh wow there are no vegetables. We have entered third-world territory. I need to be very clever moving forward if I am going to make the kind of impact necessary. Honestly, I am facing a great challenge. I have to be a humungous success or else I have to pack my bags completely. I do think I will channel my Libra heroes—Gore Vidal, Truman Capote, Arthur Miller, Oscar Wilde as well as John Lennon, Jimmy Carter, Ghandi, Pele— A wedge of romaine and some mussels for dinner. The thing is one cannot leave so completely unless one has been prearing themselves to do so for quite some time; would have been nice for me to have a head’s up. I did hear her on the phone talking to her Ontario friend and I spoke up calmly and invited her to tell the truth and she declined. I get it. I had declined when asked about the specifics of my extracurricular sex life. Wow did that whole sweeping subject warrant a conversation. By the time it did it felt so uncomfortable to have. I simply found ways to satisfy my dwindling libido, exclusively, in the company of other men, at intervals when it made sense to me to do so. Other bisexual married men. And over time, I met some individuals I really liked as people and I suppose I had a network of penpals at least such that I would on any given day have one or two emails from these friends. I considered myself fortunate and liberated in that I was an out bisexual who said so privately or publicly, on stage, mainly, but, surely the community in which I live—downtown Manhattan and Provincetown, where I produce a diverse, queer performing arts festival….ok, I am saying to myself, the way my beloved acting teacher Ed Morehouse would say: Let me stop you. I can go so many ways at this point in the conversation. I think I’m going to skip down to the next entry which is empty. But let me articulate the syntactical fork in the road. I was speaking about all the ways in which I was out all my life, and how that simple fact, plus a desert dearth of intimacy over decades in our relationship, resulted in my enjoying my network of friends when time and space colluded. But the other fork was more on theme of the times spent in said West Village with acting teachers and I’ll let the next Blague illumine on that score.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.