Sagittarius 4° (November 27)
I spent hours (longer than I thought) on the phone with Nats last night. I can’t tell you all we talked about but I do remember getting pretty deep into stuff. I needed to do that apparently but I always wonder if I go too far and am too honest with people and don’t reserve enough. I feel uneasy today so I’m chalking that up to the chat plus just feeling generally strung out. I am aimed at simplicity today, to have a simple talk through until 11AM at which point I will transition and get ready for Brad. I would like to keep that to an hour….which I was able to do. We had client and didn’t get back into the show which is fine as I’ll have much of the day tomorrow on my own to really dig in and get some rehearsal hours under my belt.
We had a substantive chat this morning about what the right first moves are in getting this operation up and running. And then the dictionary dot com word of the day was “atelier”; it doesn’t get more cosmic than that I don’t think. I trust us to make informed decisions regarding what it “all” should be about, how and when. First it has to happen and this strange limbo period is probably totally normal and just a matter of course; but as this is all new territory for me, and I’m constantly living with PTSD, my challenge is to not only live in the moment without holding my breath which I have been doing; it is allowing other action to continue even though it will feel so good to make certain sacrifices when the time arises.
I am giving myself the next five days to get completely “off book” with the script such as it is so that I can reach in all different directions in the execution of the project; I also want to have plenty of time for other things, chief among them, relaxation. My viscera is asking me to take it easy diet wise. It wants to be itself a clean slate. That’s what we all want at the end of the year, really, isn’t it? For me I just have to avoid losing steam and looking for opportunities of escape. This is an inherited trait, of this I’m sure. And it’s not that healthy. So I have to discipline myself to stay connected with others. A life of typing into one’s own laptop in the privacy of their home for decades on end is conducive to isolation. I used to say that I felt like a Reses monkey, separated into its owncage, when it came to social situations and the anxiety I’ve always suffered on that score. I’ve always found ways, thus to hide, even in plain sight.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 days.
Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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