Cancer 28° (July 19)
Another Monday I can’t even tell you what happened on this day to be honest. I think I spoke with D. There is nothing in the mailbox which is giving me pause. I will go to the cafe and see Bari I believe. I’m not even sure if this is what happens. I’m still recording what I wrote the first day at Mac’s. “You took the Gena Rowland eye which I bought. I will have to say what it costed. So many of the art works were bought by me. I bought expensive jewelry and watches and handbags as presents over the years. I don’t recall ever getting pricey presents in return”. Oh what a mess life is now. I’m so upset all the time and it’s going to be a month soon. I can’t keep going out to dinner I do need to try and make money instead. I will have celery soup I made tonight. More of the notebook fodder from eating out the other night. “I don’t suspect to understand any fucking thing. All I know is that she is safe and surrounded by people and I am totally alone.” I imagine the eye contact. “I did everything to support her.” Twenty and thirty somethings with blazers [I really cannot read what the notebook says] “My whole life has been about loving my beautiful wife all my life. How to not leave, put everything in storage, find winter rental. It will be my plan in coming weeks. I will make sure of it. I am not packing [words are illegible.” I think I am just so deep into my pain at this point that I can’t even write right. I don’t know how I’m going to survive any of this to be honest. It’s all starting up again only I cannot stay on this rollercoaster. For one I really can’t afford to. I wish I knew where she was but even that is being hidden from me. All of the above quotes from my notebook while eating out. It was healthy for me to get a little angry, only I’m not really angry at all. I’ve binge-watched so many shows. I will get to the bottom of it all. I need to start taking control. I need to set the house up as a shop of sorts and put things on sale one by one. I will create an event for it and do it that way, virtually. As well as figure out my game plan. I definitely want to stay local where I at least have friends. And this way I’ll be close storage as well. I am a bit over being vilified. I’m exactly who I’ve been all these years. I do need to start moving forward. I’m not going to let this sink me. I’m entitled to half of everything. I have to write myself out of this. Starting Monday I need to get back to the book. I think the rest of the Blagues on which I’m behind should start to outline everything that needs doing/addressing. I think that would be a very positive way of approaching all of this. I also need to start outreaching to about ten people a day about my predicament. I do feel I might have a better chance at friendship this way. I’m afraid to rip myself away lest I become super depressed. I need to focus on self and health that is the only way to not only survive but perhaps even benefit if that word still exists in any language.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.