Leo 11° (August 3)
Another rough couple of days to be honest. I am full on into my oyster addiction and it has to stop. I will try to get some work done but nothing will happen. I don’t remember why exactly. Today has sort of been a blur. I did speak with Mike which was helpful and fun. And Dave and I went back and forth about meeting up but the truth is I feel a bit Cape Cod cruddy so it’s just as well that I don’t go visit friends. Chip brought over brownies, which was very sweet, and he is helping me figure out what to do with the non profit. I thought of this: True Story: It was November 1993 and we went to our favorite local Italian resto Tanti Baci on West 10th St. Paola (“How are yuuuuu?”) the owner greeted us with a sort of apologetic look because the only table for two was smashed up against a table of six. And the place being so narrow we were actually joining their table. As we sat down we shot each other looks because we were being seated next to Joni Mitchell and friends. It was her birthday. And they were eating up a storm—that is to say everybody but Joni was eating up a storm—she was drinking goblet after goblet of red wine and smoking cigarettes. We were beside ourselves (and her). The cake came. We all sang happy birthday and at this point we were full on pretending we were all the same party and just casually celebrating our friend Joni’s 50th. And now I’m back. I’m actually not sure what to do with my feelings today. I scheduled a time to see winter rental in Ptown. There is really not that much to say to be honest. Acting pretty out of character shall we say. I truly don’t recognize this person I loved for years. It would seem somehow that I am an ogre, which I definitely am not. And shamed on top of everything else. Good god. It’s really ridiculous. I have to figure out what to say to people. Hello people, so after a thirty-eight year relationship, thirty two of which spent married, S and I have decided to amicably split. That said I find myself scrambling to dismantle the contents of my house—nine fully furnished rooms and a basement filled will a hundred boxes—to sell, store, dump or otherwise give away many, many contents, and somehow find a place to live, in a place where there isn’t a place to live, by October 31. Yeah, it’s a lot. I will be inviting friends to come by and walk through the house which I will set up as a bit of a store of sorts, to rid myself of furniture and housewares and so on. Also please pretty please if you here of any place to live—year-round or winter rental, whatever—please give me a shout. These are the breaks. Break it up, break it up, break it up, breakdown. I am struggling to write right now and need to blow through this. I don’t know how else to communicate my feelings today. I am going to apply for some housing lottery. That fucking EM that horrible mouth breather makes me fucking sick. The concern trolling troll that he is. I will never forget that morning on the boat when he and J. trashed her best friend. Made me sick to my stomach. I don’t want to know people like that. Meanwhile I have my theories about her whole thing. What an asshole he is though. JW and (I thought) S and I tried to keep J from doing what she did but good luck with that.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°, for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period.
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