Libra 27° (October 20)
Three weeks until we set off to London and then Montreal. You cannot believe what I have to pull off between now and then. It really is absurd. But, you know what, I’m not complaining. There is something powerful and quite spiritual in the air. I feel like being the person I always was, characterized in large part by being highly allergic to the sychophantic. Some of my most famous friends are also the worst sycophants. It’s like, dude/tte, just chill and be with yourself. Jeez. So much postering and social climbing. It’s incredibly boring. I like the word boring because I imagine the original term was closer to having something boring into your skull. That is a far better image of boredom that this kind of vague meaning we attach to it in modern times. There is so much to dig down into. And many lessons learned on the theme of not creating more obstacles for oneself.
We live in a society where not only wealth, but attention is in the hands of the very few. And those same people keep on being given money and opportunity and encouragement. Honestly I don’t need to see or hear from Lena Dunham ever again, except, maybe as a guest judge on Ru Paul’s Drag Race. She was good on that. And I’m sure she’s perfectly sweet; but can we stop calling artists those who pump out schlock? I don’t need to watch her make money off of inserting her own personal struggles into plotlines. I have problems of my own. And solutions to. I’m in take-no-prisonsers mode at present. I’m going to get where I’m going with or without any help from patrons or applause from the peanut gallery. It’s up to me and it’s down to me.
We have a client today which is unusual as we don’t typically do this on Saturdays but that’s okay. I actually need something of a palate cleanser; and I didn’t get much else done but that’s also not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you need to sacrifice to your work and sometimes you need to sacrifice the doing of the work. I did the latter today and shall do the former tomorrow. I’m thinking of tomorrow as one of my playing for time days where I pretend my life absolutely depends on my finishing a certain project or else something terrible will happen, like I’ll be executed or something.
Bonnie tagged me in a photo she put on social media in which I’m four years old. My sister and she back to back with hullahoops around their waists, heads turned in to face the camera, and i’m standing withing the hoop extended out in front of my sibling, gazing off. I don’t have a single picture of myself from this age as my sister stole and or hoarded everything she could get her hands on, only, I strongly imagine, to lose them all or let them rot, water damaged or get seized in some kind of raid and then destroyed. Let’s just say I don’t think anything that might have been considered my own memorabilia would have fared better in her possession that I ever did in her company. But, oh, how the picture makes me love myself, a very strange effect to be sure. I connect so much with the little person in the photo and I feel in so very many ways exactly as I know he does…did. I wrote to Bonnie to say that, looking at a folding table, a sofabed, cabinets and lamps int he room I can still feel the exact texture of every single item as, in our small two bedroom apartment in 1967, every nook and cranny of it’s interior was my playground. That folding table, for instance was a ladder for getting into my imaginery Jupiter 2, the flying saucer on “Lost in Space” my favorite show. Many years later I interviewed Billy Mumy, who played Will Robinson, both being my first, heros, along with a dozen other child stars for Detour magazine. This year Billy beamed in on Facebook to wish me Happy Birthday and it absolutely imparted a thrill.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 days.
Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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