Taurus 20° (May 10)

It was in many ways a typical talk with folks at the publishers. Assistant was enthusiastic and effusive and we seemed in a positive direction, which we still are, but then suddenly we asked a question that the assitant couldn’t answer so suddenly somebody else chimes in “being late to the meeting” all apologies (meanwhile she’s got to know that we know that she’s damn well been there the whole time listening in). It’s rather a compliment, actually, when that happens—always good to ask a question only a SVP can answer. But there is always that one line of dialogue, that particularly publishing comment that either begins with “Unfortunately…” or is tucked half way through, after the comma, “, unfortunately…”. I think they teach a whole course sophomore year called: Unfortuantely 201.

Enough of that in my life actually, thank you. I reached out to our publishers, for whom we have made millions to discuss some possibilities; but they weren’t interested in speaking with us apparently. The world is venal. And it’s not going to get better with that fuckwad in office. It will get a lot worse before it even has a chance to improve. I’m thinking today that the plan D’s might be better plan A’s. I am too easily taken off my game perhaps but there must be a difference between throwing things at a wal hoping they’ll stick and beating your head against it.

Anyway, I know myself, and I will rally. But this time I think I really need to rally quite a lot. My life seems like a runaway train and I can’t stand that feeling. I know it’s up to me to make changes; I am just right now at a loss on how to do that. I hope this is helping someone feeling similarly they are not alone. There is no point of my getting on here every day to say something positive just for positive’s sake. Sometimes things feel weird and scary. My reveries have been nightmarish.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols culminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.


Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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