Sagittarius 13° (December 6)
Getting a slow start today for sure. I stayed up really late by myself just being all sorts of indulgent sitting by the fire, fell asleep there and woke up freezing at 5:30 AM and never fell back to sleep which is fine. I’ll make it an early night tonight. So long as I get three hours in today before we work together I should be in good shape. A fortnight to go and I think I’m getting my brain around killing it. I feel a bit exorcised of demons who have been daunting me these past years; nothing like new magic to clear out the cobwebs on that score. And speaking of which I think I finally stumbled onto what looks like a path through the brambles that I might be able to tread. After so many years of not focusing on what will for me be a solo path, with a machete mind in hand, I’m ready to play catch up (which isn’t really a thing when it comes to this). I am being purposely cryptic, so don’t worry that you’re not getting it. It seems that areas of my life are falling into place while I struggle to stay on track with the work at hand. I guess this is something of a lesson in letting go. Definitely a lesson I need to learn. All I ask is to be equal to the tasks at hand. And to have fun in the process. That is “killing it” enough I suppose.
I have to trust myself on timing with everything anyway. I set things up and then I get so lost in the anticipation of them that I find it difficult to live and function fully in the moment. Today is a great day to turn this sort of thing right around. Snowy. Too cold out to go for the daily constitutional (well not really but it makes a good excuse). Anyway today is day one of fourteen where I will be putting five hours a day into a certain creative project, at whatever hours I clock them—even if I wake in the middle of the night as I am wont to do—and it is also my Summer Stock diet, named for the film of the same name in which Judy Garland looks far heavier than usual, for most of it, and then from which she took a two week “vacation” to slim down dramatically for the Get Happy number. Only my diet will not consist of cigarettes and amphetamines; well, not exclusively anyway. The recipe should be fairly simple: Now that I am “in” to the work I will stay in. And that new “path” I was talking about is going to be my way of staying the course just like H.W. said—I’m sick to death of the revisionisty eulogizing of that overpriveleged creep. I think he wanted to get into Maureen Dowd’s pants to be honest. You know he wasn’t regularly just servicing Barbara’s bush. That’s rude I know but I’m in a mood, in case you haven’t noticed.
I’m finally at the heiroglyphs stage of my creative work. You are wondering what that means, well ok. Sometimes I write things out in full sentences and then go back and insert little drawings of myself in certain “actions”; it is the actor in me that does this and have done this since my early days in NYC when I was a promising young actor. That career went nowhere. Fast. Or slow. But I still manage to get myself on a stage. Funny that. I have been in a kind of weird mental space these last few days. I think it happens every year around this time.
To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360 degrees spread over 365 days.
Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
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