Scorpio 1°

(from our show at Joe’s Pub, December 2017)

That was by Cancerian Moonchild Cat Stevens who felt his way to becoming Yusuf Islam. We all must feel and purge, cardinal-water cartharsis delivering us “home” where the heart is.

Leo—Fixed-Fire—is the flaming sacred heart and hearth, the center, like its ruler Sun, of our being. Feelings move us but Leo passion sustains us and makes us whole. Leo people are like ah. Yeah. They own it. They get theirs.

The 5th house is that of creativity among other things. Like love affairs. When we embrace our creative passion—or fall in love—its as if the Sun shines on us. The Sun is a star and the 5th house is about achieving our own personal stardom. Having a love affair with life! If the Moon is mother: nurture, the Sun is father: authority and authorship. King Arthur creating his sphere of influence—the round table is a Sun symbol. That’s what Leo people do: They rule over their lives….and others’.

The 5th house is the love we give and “co-creation with god.” To love others or our creations, be they real or “brain” children, is to be as god, creator as well as a creature. Leo people are—God complexed? I was going to say fiercely loving but yeah.

The sign’s motto is I will, which is both a pledge and a command. Leos are living examples of courage, strength, backbone. The sign rules the spine as well as the heart. You know, people say I can’t find love. I tell them Love is a verb not a noun. Just do it. Or get a hobby.

At this point in the story: Jesus realizes he is both son and father and he gets into the whole starring co-creative role, drawing on his patrilineage down from King David, the Jewish Arthur, surrounding himself, like the Sun, with his twelve apostles. It’s the honeymoon phase, the halcyon days of the Christ-mas story. Feeling sanguine and soverign. And maybe he did have an affair with Mary Magdelene or that transgendered Apostle, or both. cue music

A love affair for the ages. LOVE is our apotheosis.                                                                            

song: Snowed In at Wheeler Street

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Libra 30°

Patrick Johnson. Patrick is a Pisces. And on bass, Capricorn Danton Boller. I’m a Capricorn too. And on Violin, my fellow Libra Tomoko Akaboshi, and on the Baby Grand, he gives us catch scratch fever, loveable Leo, Matt Ray.

Ok: Aries Creation, Taurus Eden, Gemini the Fall. and then what happens? Anybody? The Flood. Yes. Cancer, cardinal-water, to wash all our cares and sins away. The sign’s motto is I feel. Cancer is like ahhhh. A fountain of emotion. Crwying, crwying. Cancer people understand the need to purge, as a means of recovery, letting go, expression, being a hallmark of their natural m.o. and their particular brand of spirituality. They have much to teach us on that score—more fully processing their past and present feelings than most.

Water symbolizes emotion. Mystical Mother Moon rules Cancer, the tides and namesake moods. The mind may play tricks but feelings never lie. Cancer rules the gut as well as the breast: Our intuition and our ability to nurture—ourselves foremost.

The flood myth is a metaphor for recovery—Noah was a drunk—which we are all in all the time. Cancer people often start life feeling at sea, ultimately finding and securing safe harbor, which is an inside job. And we typically have to leave, to lose ourselves to find ourselves. To separate ourselves from any prior conditioning that we’re no longer feeling.

The 4th astrological house is that of both the home we come from and the one we create for ourselves. Passage, deliverance, promise, hope, which floats.cue music At this point in “the story” we lose track of Jesus, post adolescence he’s off, somewhere, the theory being, to study mysticism in the east. A study abroad. Mysticism is defined as spiritual knowledge that is inexessible to the intellect, gained through intuition. Feelings. Oh, not to worry, we’re not doing that.

Song: On The Road To Find Out

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Libra 29°

Ever seen Bono at an event or something? He’s tiny, which obviously isn’t a problem. Well he seems not to like it. He was taking a ton of photos with people and this is what he does. Can someone take a picture?

So Aries Cardinal-Fire big-bang Genesis, Taurus Fixed-Earth Eden then Gemini, Mutable Air is like biting into that apple: the Fall, consciousness, the sign’s motto is I think. Duality, division,”the twins”, a split. Self-consciousness of good evil, mortality immortality, right wrong—being cast out into the wilderness, and ultimately, the urban jungle.

Fitting as Gemini is ruled by Mercury, for the wing-ed, eternally adolsecent, urbane, street-wise urchin messenger god, a trickster, huckster, “psychopomp” who can travel from heaven Olympus to hell of Hades. He is fun, funny, mischievous but a fly in the ointment. God of the literal crossroads: namesake markets, merchants, petty thieves, deal-makers, buskers, artful dodgers, all manner of streetwalkers, and the figurative crossroads: our choices, our messaging. Either way we strike.bargain. And Geminis strike one most easily between their earthly existence and their divine aspirations, their brand of spirituality being more flexible and forgiving of personal/human failings than most, heaven and hell being a perpetually mixed ‘n mingled state of mind.

The 3rd house rules childhood conditioning. In the Xmas story, too, Jesus in his own adolescence is something of a street urchin, preaching at the crossroads, putting his own messaging out there. Rubbing elbows with the hoi poloi, doing miracle tricks, questioning authority, sowing division mainly by being more forgiving than most of human failings.

Gemini is like ah. They’re wired up. Information central. Thoughts coming in and out fast and furious.Gemini rules the nerves, neurons our wiring.They best deal with life and others, not hanging on too tightly but keeping it light and moving and not taking too firm a stance, morally or otherwise, naturally understanding the transience of all things.

Mercury has a female counterpart, Eris, the wing-ed goddess of discord, who also sows division when scorned. She threw her own apple with the words “for the fairest among you” written on it into a party to which she wasn’t invited causing all-out Trogan War.

We were in the elevator at the Waldorf once with the Gemini who wrote this next song about duality—she was with her manager who said you know Edgar Bronfman Jr., then head of Warner Music, is staying in the hotel. And she said: Let’s go to his room, break his door down and throw a bomb into it.

Song: Leather And  Lace

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Libra 28°

(from show at Joe’s Pub, December 2017.)

If that Shepherd was an Aries, she didn’t follow that star. I dunno, if I were alone on a hill top, no street lights, at the dawn of the first century and saw some massive starburst in the sky, I know the first words out of my mouth would be: Jesus Christ. Speaking of new beginnings. At 11:28 AM tomorrow the days start getting longer as we slowly grow to full impeachment by June. Oh, don’t even worry about it. It’s all cyclical. Everything runs it’s course. Upward spiral, but on a diagonal, so every so often we experience a dip. But we’re on the up now you’ll see.

So we move from Aries to Taurus, Mars rule to Venus rule. In the Creation Myth, Cardinal-Fire big bang Genesis to Fixed-Earth, the garden, Eden, fertility, made all the more so by a little Taurus BS. No manure no magic. Bulls, cows, are symbols of worship and idolatry. The golden calf. That bovine Adonis, flower god, Ferdinand rolling in the roses. And in the Xmas story, too, we swing on over to the manger, the cow trough. From the French manger, to eat, to consume. Ready to be worshipped and adored. Oh I could just eat him up. Adoration lasting all of his life and beyond. Well he did have a Jewish mother.

Taurus is like ah subjective, inviting, fixed earth, the garden, utilizing the power of attraction, the senses to lure, tempt, seduce. It always happens in a garden—Eden, Gathsemene —some evil lurking. Taurus people embody this Venus energy of attraction and allure. They are most appealing. Taurus wants to be prized, treasured, possessed even. The sign’s motto is I have.

2nd house of Taurus rules our assets, our values, our talents, which must be cultivated, like a garden. Taurus rules the neck, throat, gullet, appetites, the voice, symbolic for the talents and value we possess. And, as a rule, Taurus people provide the best lessons in self-cultivation. They are at once most self-possessed and yet willing to accept others’ praise and even allow others to work their own agendas through them. So long as it benefits the Taurus, foremost, they’re let others do the heavy lifting. And Taurus’ brand of spirituality involves being possesed by some spirit, taken up by some rapture. This by a Taurus who calls himself by Latin name for G.V.

song: Gloria

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Libra 27°

The following twelve Blagues are comprised of our Holiday Show at Joe’s Pub,  December2017, entitled  Dashing Through (The Twelve Signs of Christmas).

Preset Logo. Projection screen is raised. Band then S + Q enter.

And so it begins. As it began. With a Star. (Matt plays chord) Actually I’d like to say a few words first , if that’s okay. Sure, just: Dashing Through remember. Yes, that’s why I want to pre-distill: The wheel of the Zodiac is Everything. Oh, the Zodiac is Everything. A contained sphere of unthinkable enormity. Infinity ever expanding. In what should be an upward spiral.

The Zodiac is applicable to everything, as we’ll explain tonight. 1) a model and metaphor for all existence—which matches exactly to our creations myths; and 2) it also perfectly fits Christ-mas story, and the whole Jesus thing; and 3) the Zodiac directly applies to all of us, tracing our own would-be quests toward enlightenment apotheosis divinity. Our own stories currently being written.

Each sign is distinguished by a combination of a “quality” and an “element.” Aries is Cardinal-Fire.The Spark. Big Bang of Creation. Ignition. Emergency. The birth of a star. The birth of all stars. Happens by fusion. The birth of all things. New life, beginnings. Oneness, singularity. A new order, a new age, a new God. Self. Me? I.

The 1st house is that of birth, beginnings, self, the body, temple of the spirit. The motto is I am.Being and embodiment. Purpose. The sign is ruled by planet Mars for the War God. Aries people are like Ah. Objectivity. Aries people personify this Mars-fueled energy. They’re all forward. Putting it out there. Not taking much in. They’re me-first, head first—the sign rules the head—looking out for #1. Their singular goals. Their solo objectives. It’s what Aries people can best teach us all to do. If only you all looked out for yourselves then I wouldn’t have to.

Self-actualization. Buddha. Being your own spiritual leader. This is a brand of spirituality that is natural for the Aries. Who is the first to see that star? The shepherd. And Ram is the original shepherd, leader of the flock. This song was written by an Aries, T.R. seeking to reckon the singularity of Self with that Star, which gives her pause. And it begs the existential question: Could this be about more than just me? Is there even such a thing? Or am I all there be?

song: Star of Wonder.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Libra 26°

Your Haute Astrology series of twelve books covers the entire year, week by week, for each sign. How did that come about?

Long before the books, we wrote columns and features for magazines, under our present astrological handles, if you will. Then, the books brought us more print and online work, culminating in a weekly column for The Daily Beast. An unlikely place for a horoscope. After, we decided to self-publish, weekly, on our website; and we did this for about five years before putting all the sign’s horoscopes into their own yearly books under the same aegis as the original column:, Haute Astrology,

And so ends this ruse of questions.

Libra 25°

One element that surprised me is how certain star signs tend to share physical attributes. Just briefly, what would you expect to see in a Gemini man? And a Taurean woman?

It says in Sextrology, written in 2004, that Gemini man has small hands. (The unfortunate American president was born on June 14.) That aside, Gemini men tend toward the impish. They are animated, lit up. They typically fire off questions, often driving conversation. They are often slight and agile and retain a boyishness into old age. They are given to juvenile humor if not antics. There’s something of the lad and au courrant about them. They make endless attempts at jokes. You can often feel their need to be liked. Or that might be their arfully dodging way of charming you.

Taurus women prize themselves. Though an enviable quality, they can give off an air of innocent reluctance or reistance. They tend to boast childlike features and large, wide-set eyes. Given to softly colored and textured clothing and comfortable, quality trappings, Taurus likewise avoids brash or stressful environments or people. One of the femmier femmes on the astrological block, she tends to love her girly potions and notions. Taurus has a creamy look to her complection and she often wears a center part, letting her hair flop curl or feather. Chances are she’ll smell of quality, floral-note perfume.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Libra 24°

Let’s talk about examples. Here on your examination couch is a Capricorn female in her thirties. What can you tell us about her and what she fancies?

If this were a client coming to us, she would provide us her birth day, time and place. From that we generate a number of charts that reveal endless things about her, individually. What we have to tell all Capricorn women may be more sweeping, and in more umbrella terms, but it also, paradoxically, gets to the essence of what all Capricorn woman share. As any Capricorn woman, whose archetypes include Mary Poppins, will tell you: It’s sensible to have an umbrella (under which any Capricorn woman’s unique details still thematically fall).

To call herself a Capricorn means that her Sun placement is in Capricorn; but we don’t know anything about the placement of her other planets. So we focus fully on the Sun placement and go deep into the archetype of the sign of Capricorn to increasingly extract fundementals and every facet, really, of her character. We delve all the crannies of the Capricorn “estate”—its elaborate cosmology and symbology, all associative myths and godheads, theenergetic make-up of the sign and its planetary rulership, numerology of the sign, on and on.

There is untold logic in the Zodiac. One might suspect that it is indeed an ancient system. Or as we like to call it: the original twelve-step program.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Libra 23°

Self-identification/determination can be positive, yet not always. Is there a concern that typifying a kind of behaviour associated to a birth date could be counter-productive? Eg, I’m a Piscean, I just can’t help myself.

Our brand of astrology is necessarily plastic in its application to people, whether personal clients or a wider readership. It’s all about potential—optimizing gifts and opportunities while negotiating all the negatives, usually from conditioning—which we can see in individual’s charts and which, in oxymoronic “generally specifically” or “specifically general” terms applies, on that wider level, to majorities of those born under the same sign.

We can’t tell anyone why astrology, in its myriad forms and applications, works so accurately. But there are a lot of things we can’t explain. It would seem that, just as a rose blooms in June and a Chrysanthemum, in December, so too do people born at a certain time reflect, or literally personify, the energy of that time. One could say the Zodiac, like life, is hinged on paradox, the culmination being the last yin-yang sign of Pisces with its opposite facing fish. And yes, counting Christ and Blanche du Bois among its archetypal order, Pisces people are indeed prone to temptation; but, for the Fish, it is always a two-way street.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Libra 22°

While some astrological partnerships seem better starred than others, your emphasis seems to be on awareness of our own and each other’s habits and tendencies. It’s eye-opening in some ways and familiar in others.

We can only change ourselves. And while, yes, reading the chapters in Sextrology pertaining to loved ones will offer an insider’s guide to that individual in many ways, the main tenet of our work is personal development, you doing you. In Cosmic Coupling, which treats all possible 300 gay and straight combinations, the character of the relationships become the focus. Two people may form any relationship, still the relationship itself becomes this third entity. There are actually twenty-four relationship-chapters pertaining to any one reader of Cosmic Coupling, While the voyeuristic possibilities are endless in exploring what makes other relationships tick. Cosmic Coupling is a conversation starter for sure.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2017 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox