June | 2017 | Cosmic Blague

Month: June 2017 (page 4 of 6)

Ed Sullivan

June 17, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Gemini 9°

The first time I was ever cast in a musical I had a mini solo in a group song. I played Randolf, the little brother, in Bye Bye Birdie, and my solo was the name Ed Sullivan over and over.

I have the same birthday as Ed Sullivan it turned out—of course I didn’t know that then. I only found out after years of curating talent and putting them on a stage. A lot like you know who.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

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Emails Never Sent #16

June 12, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Gemini 8°

Because I care about Theater, because I find it weird and unacceptable that the public cannot get information on joining creative committees, because all the other Ptown entities that have worked there have had problems, because i had an issue with what might be considered double-dipping, because voicing my concerns ended in being physically assaulted, because you employ rude, unhelpful and theatrically clueless representativesl, because your website hasn’t been updated since 2009, because your one publically elected board member left after 3 months and you didn’t replace her, because i have requested to address the board and received no answer, because false, slanderous comments have been made about me and my festival to your board members who are my neighbors and my peers, for all these reasons and so many more I am, as I said in our meeting, concerned that the community of Provincetown is not being served by the theater and that your theater’s actions disallow participation and actually alienate seemingly everyone you work with, that the community needs to be made aware of what is really going on with its community theater. I will repeat that phrase: community theater. I am at this point reaching out to those who have history of Provincetown theater and have documented the operations of your theater.

I have two goals in mind

1. To insure that Afterglow nor those who work with the festival are slandered in any way or that excuses are made to disallow its existence anywhere given its pristine reputation and successful debut.

2. To make the community theater of Provincetown more engaging with the actual community of Provincetown, enlightening the people of the community to its operations and availability.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

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Emails Never Sent #15

June 12, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Gemini 7°

Hello You Two

One wonders what the 11th hour brings. It always brings something. So far two things.

For starters Drew Droege has likely booked a tv gig which would prevent him from coming early, on Weds, to participate in our benefit as planned. Hold that thought.

Also: The duo who I was giving a gig to foster on their own steam, Enid Ellen and Greg Potter: The mother of David Mramor (Enid) has entered into a coma and is dying. Horrible. So we will likely not go forward with their show although Greg may still come to stay a part of it all.

Ok first. The benefit what was: it didn’t really work as a big-money benefit to bring in desired cash which is fine; so i turned it into a promotional vehicle mainly (people can still throw money in the sombrero) to invite the townies to as a promo for the artists. this is VERY provincetown. all performers start their seasons, for instance, with free townie shows and then it creates viral effect whereby everyone goes back to their inns, shops and restaurant jobs and promotes the performers that struck their fancy. Incredibly effective.

The Weds benefit is now at the big money-making venue the Crown and Anchor where Dina and others make killing all summer. The owner has given us the big room. And he is a festival sponsor. We had a long talk about the festival being a curatorial mechanism for him. Though he rarely goes out to see anything. But he’ll certainly be at the benefit. So, making lemonade, Stella and I thought:

If you Amber could get here two days earlier? Weds? We already have Drew’s room booked. And, to be perfectly honest, I think you Amber are the most suited to making a lasting inroad in this town anyway at a venue like Crown and Anchor because of the comedy in addition to the amazing musicality. So now that we are doing benefit at Crown + Anchor (which we weren’t originally) and it is a townie night (which it originally wasn’t) it would actually be so great for you and for us if you could by some grace of the gods get here earlier and get this exposure both for your show in festival (pin in that) and for the long term.

So taking the pin out. That 11pm Sunday slot that Enid Ellen will vacate. a) since the JCM+Amber show is the most likely to sell out; and b) most townies will not see it because they will be working, we might think about imagining that 11pm slot being filled by you. If you want it to be. Maybe give Greg Potter something to do in it. And already put it out there for townies to grab on to. And bill it as geared to the townsfolk and even mention we are adding it the night of the benefit.

That was a long email. i’m very sorry. But I woke up to all these monkey wrenches and I have a Virgo ascendent and have to “fix” everything immediately. Lemons to lemonade…

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2017 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Emails Never Sent #14

June 12, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Gemini 6°

Let me say that I totally welcome your input here if we think that there are better individuals to illustrate the IDEA we are trying to convey with these individuals in the composite. So maybe you can start pulling pics but before we make the compositions we can have a phone chat and by then maybe you/i/Stella will have thought of even funnier examples but here we go. Actually in some we might really want to think about who goes in the middle photo. there are some sight gags to be had. I did overkill on the first one (Aries Women) below just so you can get an idea of the bold strokes. PS we might want to do 2 slides per sex sign if it really hits home the idea. why have the audience stare for 30 seconds at one slide when they can look at two of the same sex sign?

ARIES WOMEN the point here is that we say they are feminists, fiercely independent with minimal beauty regime and that they are bratty and look primitive like cave women so bushy bushy eyebrows

Keira Knightly (sorry she looks like a cavewoman to me), Lucy Lawless, Camille Paglia, Jane Goodall, Joan Crawford, Bette Davis, Gloria Swanson, Gloria Steinem, Cloris Leachman (maybe in her role as Frau whatever in Young Frankenstein) Reese Witherspoon (same cavewoman face as Keira?) so does Emma Watson ..does Sarah Jessica Parker have bushy eyebrows….surely there must be a photo of her as such…Victoria Beckham? Jane Adams I want to say Diana Ross but she has no eyebrows, maybe Chaka Khan or Billie Holliday and alternates would be Fergie, Mariah Carey, Claire Danes, Kelly Russell (but they don’t read ball busting and difficult…..maybe Rosie O’Donnel …anyway later on as you’ll see we put some other genders for jokes which we can’t do a lot but i’m tempted to put in David Hyde Pierce because he too looks like a cavewoman ok enough i’ll be more succinct as we go but i wanted you to get what i’m going for ….this is making me think two slides

ARIES MEN here we want to go for really either neaderthaal types or really chauvinistic. Rough rugged or hothead characters

Russel Crowe, Marlon Brando, Hugh Hefner, Steve McQueen, Eddy Murphy, Warren Beatty, Alec Baldwin, Charlie Chaplin as the Little General, HItler (ugh i know) and then Robert Down Jr as Charlie Chaplin all in a row? David Letterman, Ewan McGregor (though is he really a badass?) Omar Sharif, Steven Segal, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, James Caan, James Garner, Jean Paul Belmondo

I just found a really good site for Aries man photos hopefully for all the signs

http://www.librarising.com/astrology/sunsigns/suninariesmale.html

TAURUS WOMEN we could do two slides here too the point is that these are girly girls really uberfeminine but they can take it too far and instead of looking like dollies end up looking like drag queens

girly girls: Audrey Hepburn, Michelle Pfeifer, Penelope Cruz, Bianca Jagger, Uma Thurman,Jessica Langue, Renee Zellwegger, girl stars: Kirsten Dunst, Valerie Bertinelli, Sandra Dee, Shirley Temple, young Ann Margret, Cher, Pia Zadora, Carol Burnett, Donatella Versace, Grace Jones, Janet Jackson, Barbra Streisand, Joanna Lumley, Al Pacino (joke)

TAURUS MEN the point here is non-threatening hearthrobs pretty boys lover boys

With Ann B. Davis in the center as joke David Beckham, Rudolph Valentino Englebert Humperdink, George Clooney, James Mason, Peter Frampton, Liberace, Pierce Brosnan, Robert Pattinson, Enrique Inglesias, Chow Yun Fat Daniel Day Lewis, Liberace

XTRA TAURUS MEN this will be a list of Taurus men who cross dress or transgendered, here for Ptown we will have some local peeps i am trying collect photos for (in bold)

Justin Bond, John Cameron Mitchell, Dennis Rodman, Lypsinka, Iggy Pop, (maybe: Lady Clover Miss Understood, Michael Palin,) Bea Arthur in center as joke, Dana Danzel, Devon Ruesch, David Flower

GEMINI WOMEN trouble making goddesses of discord if not happy homewrecks tinker (manipuliaive) belles (beauties)

Marilyn Monroe, Judy Garland, Angelina Jolie, Elizabeth Hurley, Joan Colins, Michelle Phillips, Anne Heche, the Olsens, Paula Abdul, Helena Bonham Carter, Josephine Baker, Judy Holliday, Natalie Portman, , Wallace Simpson, Kathleen Turner, LaToya, Nicole Kidman, Naomi Campbell

GEMINI MEN boyish eternal youthful Peter Pan syndromed as it married to swashbuckling pirate outlaw types like Robin Hood

Johnny Depp, Errol Flynn, Douglas Fairbanks, Pat Boone, Paul McCartney, Donald Trump, Boy George, Prince, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Mike Meyers, Tupak Shukar, Jim Neighbors (Golly), Trey Parker and Matt Stone (our own Castor and Pollux fixated on boyhood) Charile Watts, Jamie Oliver

CANCER WOMEN the point is to find pics of these ladies which makes them all look as if they are about to cry which isn’t hard to do. Ignore the less famous ones if you want Of course most sites like the one given has women smiling you can see i even managed to pull 4 photos off (one of Stella’s mum) who look on the verge of teers…..Shelley Duvall from Shining? Princes Diana from some unhappy moment, etc

Ginger Rogers, Leslie Caron, Princess Diana, Olivia de Haviland, Christine McVie, Angelica Huston, Liv Tyler, Isabelle Adjani, Shelley Duvall, Eleanor Parker, Shirley Knight, Kelly McGillis, Meryl Street, Carley Simon, Juliette Lewis, Deobrah Harry, Courtney Love

boo hoo hoo

CANCER MAN point here is squeaky clean unthreatening guys who might be a bit oversentimental not much heat. they can’t play the badguy I am giving you too many and not enough for two slides so we should talk about this and others as i said

Tobey McGuire, Topher Grace, Daniel Radcliffe (actually he may be Leo), Chris O’Donnell, Billy Crudup, Omar Epps, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Smits, Robin Williams Jason Schwartzman, John Cusack, Prince William, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Josh Hartnett, David Hasselhoff, (trying to figure out George Bush joke here) George Michael

LEO WOMAN fierce hungry women with an appetite for sucess. the superstars

Madonna, Lucille Ball, Coco Chanel, Julia Child, J.K. Rowling, Jaqueline Onaassis, Gerri Halliwell, Amelia Earhart, Mae West, Mata Hari,J.Lo I want to do something JonBenet maybe and i can’t resist the below shot

LEO MEN controlling if not tyrants

Fidel Castro, Mussolini, Napoleone, Bill Clinton, Barry Obama, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Cecil B. DeMille, Alfred Hitchock, Marty Stewart (Martha)

VIRGO WOMEN real bods and some brick houses

Beyonce, Sophia Loren, Rachel Welch, Salma Hayek, Cameron Diaz, Tuesday Weld (nice Virgo name), Joey Heatherton, Lauren Bacall, Jacqueline Bissett, Faye Wray, Claudia and Kristen

Barbara Bach

VIRGO MEN faceworky tinker-ers this one is proving to be trickier than i thought

Keanu Reeves, Michael Jackson, Mickey Rourke, Stephen King, David Copperfield, Jose Feliciano, Harry Connick Junior, Robert Blake,

LIBRA WOMEN think we’ll go for the all goodness and light thing

Julie Andrews, Olivia Newton John, Helen Hayes, Gwyneth Paltrow, Deborah Kerr, Angela Lansbury, Annette Funicello, June Allison, Hillary Duff, Kelly Ripa, Marie Osmond, Pam Dawber, Deneuve, Bardot

LIBRA MEN here we are going for the inanimate thing. kind of concepual hard to pin down (especially sexually?)

Usher, Flea, Sting, Eminem, Le Corbusier, e.e. cummings, Evel Kinievel, John Courgar Mellencamp……

Will Smith, Hugh Jackman, Mario Lopez, Jim Cavaiziel, Kevin Sorbo,

SCORPIO WOMEN we are going for the signs rule of genitalia and the joke about women and men kind of reflecting that fact

Very celebratory of the female experience Georgia O’Keefe, Shere Hite, Winona Ryder, Grace Slick, Cherry Jones, Margaret Atwood, Yoni Mitchell, Helen Reddy, or just sex symbols?

SCORPIO MEN they look like penises….this joke actually worked better when we didn’t use visuals so i have to find some maybe bald or buzz cut guys not just old bald guys…..let’s stop here for now

Prince Charles, Edward Asner, Pablo Picasso, Gavin Rossdale, Dylan McDermott, Dermott Mulrooney, Felix Frankfurter

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2017 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Emails Never Sent #13

June 12, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Gemini 5°

All very well here—we hope the same for you.

We thought it best to flag areas that would need to change.

But before making substantial changes we should know if changing these areas are dealbreakers or not.

Also Mariana mentioned that we should be brainstorming together with her and coming up with outrageous case stories.

Did you since determine with her that this is no longer necessary?

Some quick notes to the attached:

We can’t for myriad reasons call the show Sextrology.

The show we envision given the content and format comprises 60 not 30 minutes.

Otherwise, we’ve annotated our edit.

Concurrently, we had a plan to contact all the television execs with whom we spoke in the process to reframe Starsky + Cox.

Please let us know if you had any commentary on the documentation we sent on your suggestion and we shall move forward with that as well.

Thanks for your time

Quinn

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2017 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Letters Never Sent #12

June 12, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Gemini 4°

The trick in writing you back is that I want to be succinct and not say everything because there are years of subtext and misinformation to sort through.

I really thought, since we have spent many evenings together over the last two years, that we had both put the past behind us. i didn’t realize you were keeping a list of grievances to pull out at will.

I don’t keep lists of grievances on my friends. And I also don’t throw everything in their face. Frankly, I think you’ve been looking for excuses.I also think that you have two narratives going. One of a loving kind friend to me in private. And one who talks behind my back, telling tales.

I am not the person who goes to your home and brings my own food and linens and then accuses you of stealing them. I am not the person who cancels on the day of a theater and dinner date (when theater and dinner are your Christmas present) without a Sorry or Thank You. I am not the one who always makes the other feel bad about any gift given. I am not the one who gets drunk and stoned and then makes the other the target of attacks late night playing games. I am not the one who invites you to dinner to help me get through nights with family but then makes snide and demeaning remarks to you in front of other friends. I am not the one who never asks a single question about your life. I am not the one who has an obsessive need to make others feel “less than”. I am not the one who lets some friend of mine pretend she is in TV development and then has you write an entire TV pitch only to find out she’s a pathological liar. I AM the one who never mentions these things to you because I’m a good friend. [remember, reader, these are Emails Never Sent]

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

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Letters Never Sent #11

June 12, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Gemini 3°

So I suppose the time has come for me to speak up and address some of your statements and questions. I have been hesitant to do so because, despite posing me questions, you also seemed not to want to hear the answers.

But what I’ve come to realize is that you and I operate very differently. You seemed to have kept score and inventoried all these grievances against me. And I tended to overlook or swallow grievances I had against you which found a way to seep out, specifically that one time .

I have to be honest in saying that all that you accuse me of seems like projection.

You failed to take into account (and I failed to speak up about) certain factors.

For instance, before that evening in question, the last time you came to our house for lunch you brought your own food and linens and then accused us of stealing them. The time before I saw you that evening in NYC you made a shaming comment to me at your house. The last time you came to see us perform you visibly and audibly talked on your phone and walked around the room.

I bought you two tickets to theater and had planned to take you for dinner and you flaked out on us last minute. If I had done that to you, I’d never hear the end of it. You were meant to come and see our new house after the fleamarket, and we prepared breakfast as planned and you never showed up.

Every time we played games late night and you were stoned and drunk you were belligerent toward me, specifically. Not once but on numerous occassions. You tried to convince me during Scategories that Hungry Hungry Hippo had no Hs in it. It has 3.

I never mentioned to you what a nightmare your pathological fiend of a friend [Sheeshna] put us through pretending she was in television development. And I’m sure Etienne never told you how difficult he was to work with on graphics. Although he did say to me “you’re going to tell everyone I’m an asshole.” Which of course I never did.

You have a very selective way of perceiving reality. And you’re just plain not a very nice person.

So I would very much appreciate it if you would take a giant leap off a short pier.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2017 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Emails Never Sent #10

June 11, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Gemini 2°

Rants on the Heating in a Lousy Apartment (that looked great!) in Boston’s Back Bay….

Please find attached copy of your invoice from Heating Company name TK

As the technicians explained to us, and as the invoice notation reiterates, there was no heating flowing from our vents due to neglect in cleaning your filters, resulting in freezing conditions.

Sickly ironically, as the technicians explained to us: the heating unit thus struggled to generate heat to satisfy the thermostat setting which resulted in bills of upwards of $600 per month and more.

By your own (documented) admission, the heat/electricity in the apartment “should cost” no more than $100, though you set the figure more at $60 per month.

As stated in my previous email to you, we are willing to be generous and double your estimation and pay an already exhorbitant $200 per month of each of the bills we received this winter.

As the electricity is in our name, we have paid these bills to the electric company. And we have paid our rent in full, withholding nothing from the rent amount due to you as landlord.

We are demanding reimbursement, however, in the sum of TK to be made payable to us immediately.

It is well documented by the Tk Company that we a) had inadquate heat and b) were slapped with astronomical electric-heating bills as a total result of your neglect to service the heating unit.

We demand that you deliver us a check for this reimbursement by TK Date. Again, we feel we have been generous in absorbing $200 per month of these charges.

There is no way that you can compensate us for the fact that we had to live in a frozen ice box of an apartment due to your gross neglect.

Although we have clear documentation that we alerted you to this heating problem in January; while you dragged your feet and did nothing to remedy this until March 9.

I mean this most sincerely: If we don’t receive the reimbursement we’ve demanded by the date specified, we will be seeking legal action and damages for every aspect of your neglect as landlord.

Given that unhappy inevitability, we will also seek compensation for all legal fees accumulated in that process.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2017 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Emails Sent #9

June 11, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Gemini 1°

Hey Matt

We are doing small snippet of the Judy and Barbra mashup

Just, from the Judy perspective: Forget your troubles come get happy…..ready for the judgment day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYpcFHtxm60

and then it will grind up (maybe patrick has some kind of drum) but definitely bass into armageddon days

again, i’m not singing all the right notes here but as we find it I will send a better version.

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2017 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Emails Never Sent #8

June 11, 2017 / Quinn Cox / 0 Comments

Taurus 30°

That was a short-lived gig we had at Sid Gold’s. I love that place.

Dear Friends,

With the Spring Equinox and the start of the Astrological New Year on March 20, we will embark on a year-long event of twelve appearances at Sid Gold’s Request Room in New York City.

The third Sunday* of each month, at 8PM we Starsky + Cox will present THE ZODIAC CLUB, pinioned, in turn, to the start of each of the twelve astrological signs.

Equal parts musical-comedy show, consciousness-raising seminar, and cosmic social salon, THE ZODIAC CLUB is something we’ve long wanted to produce and share with a live audience of like minds.

Drawing on our scholarly work on starry subjects, as well as on the popularity of our monthly radio broadcasts, and even our experience consulting private clients, with THE ZODIAC CLUB we will lovingly decode the Zodiac—unlocking and unleashing its inherent mythic, metaphysical and mystic wisdom and power—each month, for the people, regardless of their astrological sign.

We all have all the signs and houses in us; and beyond our own individual birth charts and other astrological applications, we believe the Zodiac to be “the original twelve-step program”™ an ancient self-help manual encoded within a pictographically potent and archetypally rich mandala for existence aimed at helping us reach increasingly higher levels of perception and sustainable joy. Anyway, that’s our story and we’re sticking with it, as we’re confident that THE ZODIAC CLUB will raise both your individual awareness and our collective consciousness of the white witchery and true magic inherent in us all.

With musical director Brian King

Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*

Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2017 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Month: June 2017 (page 4 of 6)

Ed Sullivan

Emails Never Sent #16

Emails Never Sent #15

Emails Never Sent #14

Emails Never Sent #13

Letters Never Sent #12

Letters Never Sent #11

Emails Never Sent #10

Emails Sent #9

Emails Never Sent #8

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