Capricorn 3° (December 24)

Morning chat with S to try and make last uncontested attempt. Trip to Perry’s and S&S. Chat with Priscilla who is remarkably friendly and kind. Billy and Tim drop off Xmas foody gifts. I made a frittata of sorts with onion, potato, egg (of course) green beans, ham and Gruyere. Watching season two of Emily in Paris. Terribly depressed and feeling what is the effing point of all this. I manage to get out and get some more errands done. I also order les fleurs. I am tempted to smoke. I remember how on this night, a number of years in a room, some more memorable, you would come over; and we would play around the (sometimes silver) Christmas tree, our parents probably sipping very boozy eggnog and we playing with the decorations, the inflatable reindeer and stuffed Santa, eating Bugles we would wear like long fingernails before chowing them, watching some holiday show; and one night lying in our bedroom imagining the sound of an approaching St. Nick arriving in a flying sleigh filled with toys. My father would have had some friend call the house and pretend to be “Ishkabibble” who was Santa’s chief elf to discuss my behavior and worthiness for presents. I remember all three of us singing “If I Had a Hammer” into a new tape recorder—so that might mean this was our second night of revelry, Christmas night, now, not eve. Because, of course, you might have spent all Christmas day as well. I remember you would arrive early morning in pajamas and white quilted robe, to open presents with us, perhaps? And the day would be spent, then, trying every new game or two. One game where you wore a secret identity on your forehead and you had to guess, from other people’s responses and reactions, who you were. I think it was called “Who’s Who?” And Hot Wheels and Match Box cars, and Little Kittle dolls with their accompanying houses that smelled so strongly of factory plastic. And “groovy” Pop gifts like blow up plastic stop-sign pillows and Playdough and Silly Sand and Spirographs and such. Will speak with D. Brown and speak too much about astrology—gosh do I miss being able to discuss such ideas as I used to with the one person who speaks my language. She could end up being more and more lost to me as time unfolds which would sadden me to no end. It is time to really start letting go. I used my Xmas Eve buzz to take full inventory of le Blagues and to devise a schedule for realizing filling all the over a hundred empty entries. It’s cool. I’ll get there. Also making a list of possible revenue streams.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Capricorn 2° (December 23)

I had enough Shepherd’s Pie fix’ins to make a giant one and a tiny one. I ate the tiny one. Watched the Dominick Dunne doc in honor of Joan Didion’s passing. Post Office and food shop and then will talk to Brad about this effed-up IRS thing. Meanwhile I sit down and completely tackle the “minutes” that are so essential to make this crazy crap happen. I have given up on needing some kind of payout for now and fingers crossed we are moving in the right direction. I am in constant touch with team kindness and there is just that one outlier who can fuck everything up. I did some flower research and I think I will go for the pinks instead of the whites, flower-wise. I will end up digging into the document at hand and crafting it into something workable. Heard back from Moo last night. I will write everybody something tomorrow. It will be a year ago since I spoke to Kip. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Capricorn 1° (December 22)

I sent Brad some messages about this IRS thing, driving me mad. Also back and forth with Vanessa the insurer. It was either tonight or last when I dreamt about meeting Mother Theresa and then one of the other Theresas. Today is the day I am going through all the mail and Dave beams in to say that staff and guests at trivia all have the Covid. Great. It turns out he will too, he sends me pic of a home test. I’m not getting tested. I work from home. I have mild cold symptoms anyway; and so far “so good”…well, not good, nothing is good. I am back and forth with said insurer and learn that S. shouldn’t be driving, which must be weird. We are trying to tackle a great deal of the fall out. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Capricorn 0° (December 21)

I’m going to have to check emails from this day because it feels to be, in retrospect, really difficult. I ate some oatcakes late night and then again this morning and just sort of floated into the future afternoon. I think I needed just one of these horrible things to go by. There will be chicken tacos with yi sauce after a few careless moments. But nothing can be done about that. It is the first time in a long time but it won’t be the last. (This is an understatement.) Look I can’t really care that these Blague entries make no sense. They are not supposed to. They are meant to be disjointed because that is the tenor of the time in which they are happening. Back to the future (to revisit the past): That is to say that I am now writing this nearly a year later revisiting the little bit I wrote on that day as a placeholder. That said I am looking back through journals and such to see what was up with me around this time…I guess I just want to say, reiterate, really, in the stony face of silence, that I’m finally in full forgiveness of your perspective and whatever parts you may have played in the last eighteen months. I have run the gamut of emotion, and having no filter, have sent you texts and emails portraying the many stages of grief. I now realize, contrary to any outside assurances, that you have no intention of ever engaging with me again, your cancelation of me being complete. Though the pain at being cast aside, out, branded with your vivid accusations without the benefit of sharing my (side of the) story will always be there, along with the sadness of losing friends I truly loved and considered family, I must let as much surrounding sorrow go and allow this loss to give way to more caring and compassionate connections with as yet undiscovered friends cum family. With the holidays upon me for the second time since separation, I am at least braced if not prepared for the profound existential despondency that this time of year can bring which, last year, took me so completely unawares, I found myself passing through the wafer membrane of final despair. I am now a poster child, alas, for cancel culture, not just at the hands of decades long mutual friends who label me in the manner you do, but on the other end of the spectrum as well by those who don’t quite buy me as a member of their diverse community either. I gothically giggle to myself that I should fashion myself a bunch a tees with the single word “pariah” spelled, spread upon my chest, and wear it as a badge of honor. Too few people speak to the good in me anymore and so it is solely, now, up to me to shout it from the rooftops of my own consciousness. It makes no good sense for a person to be praised and held up for many years for being a paragon of this or that virtue only to, in an instant, be deemed the personification of irredeemable vice. Cue an Erasure track. I can’t say “screw it, I don’t care”  because I always will, but there comes a time when one must turn their utter loss and all-too literal disappointment and grief into something else. The first step I have learned is to welcome the shun and to embrace the blessed anonymity it brings. I have no family or friends (here anyway) and precious few of them in any case, anywhere, and I want to focus on how liberating that can be. I am free to express myself fully without concern for hurting others’ feelings. There is something to be said for that…

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Sagittarius 29° (December 20)

I’m finally going to eat those tahini oatcakes I’ve been threatening to mange. I will prepare to eat chicken tacos tonight but end up giving into Cyrus wanting to eat out instead of in. Of course, by the time he gets here everything is closed and we will end up at the Pig where I will just drink wine, without food, after gummies and a few puffs. Not good. I love Cyrus but sometimes I wonder why he brings out the most vulnerable in me. It is reminiscent of being with Steven as a child. Only whereas Steven was a mauvais garcon, Cyrus is the most benevolent and chill of individuals I think I’ve ever met. It was magical in a way. He loved the flat which was to be expected. As super straight as he is he is much more a peacock than any dandy I’ve met in recent years. S. sends me something about a contest winner, suggesting I tackle it. What else should I tackle actually. I don’t know I just feel like I might just do it as a form of tithing. When we enter the Pig someone professes to know me and stands up and hugs me and all of it. I have no idea who it is. This is a very Provincetown thing after many years being somewhat in the public eye. People will think that you know them as well as they think you know them. It’s very complicated. I will never, a year later, know who this person was or is. How things have changed since then I guess is that I’m less addicting to the eating out thing, but not completely. And when I go out now I tend to splurge all the more. That said, I have developed increased restraint, but I also feel the toll these years have had on my health. I just no longer feel like myself. And I do have this weird sense, which started in small part years ago, as if I’ve been eating broken glass.

Back to the future (to revisit the past): That is to say that I am now writing this nearly a year later revisiting the little bit I wrote on that day as a placeholder. That said I am looking back through journals and such to see what was up with me around this time…

“Here with all these families I see what could have been but never was. It was nobody’s fault but just another…these past few days have been especially horrible It is amazing to me what is actually going on; the fact that I am being tortured….so shocked by the way this is being handled…well not picking this up again for another five days. Had a lovely dinner with Carol Anne last night after bumping in her the night before. We weren’t friends really in the past but it was…I think of the Colombe D’or. I think of everywhere we’ve been. All the books and columns. Tonight will not be a lot of fun. I’m afraid I will writhe and moan…once again as if I am the disposable one and I am not. I am going to to take stock and my this work It will not be easy but I might stop off. I am doing my best to keep it all together. I will never be a rich daddy and despite my protests I have to start getting happy. In all these years I ‘ve nobody to invite. You were my life…The big takeaway is her highness planning on speaking to me againce once the big d is final.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Sagittarius 28° (December 19)

It feels quite Sunday today I must say. I had roasted a chicken before I did the lamb, so I decided to take all the meat off the boat and shred it a bit and season it and I’m going to have that with leftie gratin. I have also made the batter for tahini oat cakes which I have to do every week for sure. But I won’t eat these until tomorrow apparently. 

Back to the future (to revisit the past): That is to say that I am now writing this nearly a year later revisiting the little bit I wrote on that day as a placeholder. That said I am looking back through journals and such to see what was up with me around this time…

“The Karen next to me has the worst energy of pretty much any human I’ve encountered. She is a Leo. Which is helping me. Since I will be excommunicated for some time (read: forever) I will have the opportunity to be reborn. And I do have to start taking it. Tomorrow should be people outreach day for sure. Basically I sit here so I don’t have to be lonely. It is actually a good investment in my mental health. When we first moved to Cape Cod it stall had remnants of its 1950s-1970s roots. Going to Christians in Chatham on a stormy, snowy evening and sitting upstairs with a piano bar set up with white men in bright v-neck sweaters over buttollars, mostly white shirts. Not the aging hipster tattoo world in which we now live, twenty five years later. I need the right footwear more than anything else—is there a sports shop in the area? Must get tan, too. Pharmacy razors and shaving cream. Do not feel guilty about eating out as it is saving your life in a very significant way. Continue to inventory rooms, both on behalf ourselves. Doing the heavy lifting is my penance I suppose. Turns out the crush has a girlfriend. Something about an impaled throat. Surrounded by families all tanned faces and feet in red, white and blue pastels. Yeah fuck it: being at Macs has been giving me life. Someone from down the way is saving at me and I have no effing idea who it is. Back in the day, before the internet, I feel I had more regular correspondence with people, via phone and letters. I will get back into the book no matter what S. says. It will be important to keep that muscle going.”

This will not happen.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Sagittarius 27° (December 18)

Tim and Billy coming for dinner tonight. Spending the day cleaning and cooking like mad. I set a high bar: Chicory Salad w/ Walnuts, Pear and Blue Cheese. Leg of Lamb, Gratin Dauphinois, Haricots Verts (Billy will make an Almond Cake). And, of course, I scheduled this second chat with S which was three hours long and super emotional. I don’t feel like having people over now, but all the more reason to do so I suppose. I do reach out to D+N to say there was a total criss-cross about who thought who was shady between them and the S. I can’t stand this. I think it all comes down to P. who also told them about me and folks chez moi. And they seemed so surprised. But I have to ask why. 

Back to the future (to revisit the past): That is to say that I am now writing this nearly a year later revisiting the little bit I wrote on that day as a placeholder. That said I am looking back through journals and such to see what was up with me around this time…

So much is still in flux. I’m reminded that I’m sure it was Petra’s spiritually bankrupt husband who brought that awful lawyer into our lives. In the end he will cost double what mind does but it all comes out of our shared money. So many points have gotten glossed over; the fact our joint savings account wasn’t one at all and was for her use exclusively, at time, very much like a piggy bank. I think of all I went through with the 2015 car accident and all the doctors and such and how much effort it took to squirrel away the little bit of compensation that this brought. Oh well. I am living in a bubble (and will for quite some time—it is truly amazing that a year on I’m not that much better off emotionally). The time it takes is extraordinary. “August 6: Okay so I need to know a bunch of things and I also have a big to-do list for the next several days. I do seem to be rather stuck in this same place. It may be time to do the eighty days and nights of William Willing. Met this lovely couple who are close with Jamie Raskin. Older Jewish couple lat 70s. I did my mother and son joke and it literally killed. I kind of have a crush on…[and then I don’t finish that sentence]. I will spend the night in bed catching up while I am am disappointed in J+N very much in fact. Especially as I had to endure their having told their friends who then came a trolling. Anyway, 77-year old Nancy (of Nancy and Bob fame) told me I don’t look anywhere 57 which was very nice to hear considering I haven’t slept in months. I have to insert Catness from the Hunger Games into the Leo woman chapter.”

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Sagittarius 25° (December 17)

How to decide what will happen today. I need to shop for tomorrow’s dinner and grab some wine from Perry’s. I will pre-cook a great deal, including a chicken, and I had planned on marinating a leg of lamb for eight hours but I will never get to it. Lots of back and forth with LB about the Truro location in summer. (Of course, it will be the place that I ultimately take. My future is still so uncertain as I write this nearly ten months later. I wish I could warn myself of what was to come. My lawyer knew and tried to caution me. I was so hopeful back during this time that we would be friends; actually I thought we’d end up being the best of friends. I would tell myself that my heart will be broken again and again. I wonder now looking back if there was already another man in the picture. Who actually knows. I certainly don’t. I never had any other love in my life but I guess some people are built to trade out one love of their life for another without much hassle. I will never love again like the way I loved in that thirty-eight year relationship. It would be impossible. In fact, I think I really never want another relationship at all, except the one with myself. I will continue to put thoughts together about trying to get the book back in motion, but these will be thoughts I never get to send, believe it or not. 

In the process of our divorce we together decided we would continue to work together in the shared company, specifically on new book, the TV show and other projects, and that as soon as we could we would pay back Hachette which we did a few months back. Though I did reach out to your office and heard back from Tess, it being summer, we decided to wait until after Labor Day to reach out to you again. I hasten to add that S did relay to me that you had spoken back in April, I believe, and that there was some painful fallout with L about which we hadn’t been aware. I know you had originally mentioned that we might try to resell the book to some new publishers who’d never seen our proposal, that had popped up on the landscape, but I believe the main thrust of the conversation in April centered perhaps going back to Andrews McNeel. Of course, we only ever want(ed) you to do what was perfectly comfortable for you.

To be candid, S last week expressed trepidation in regard to contacting you about the book, so I said I would do the reaching out. We do have half a substantial book written, we did already commission rather beautiful artwork to accompany the text as per the contract with Hash; moreover, speaking for myself, I am in a great place both financially and mentally to spend the coming months continuing to bring the manuscript to completion. That is to say we wouldn’t need a large advance nor a surplus of time to make this happen. I will be in Provincetown for the quiet months with not much else to do but write. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Sagittarius 24° (December 16)

The evening will end with a surprise invitation from Dave to go see singer at the Club. I’m tired but I say yes all the same. Very talented bunch I am eating a burger for two nights in a row. That has got to stop. We stroll back east and sing carols in a pretty decent harmony. It is one of the happiest most innocent nights I’ve had in an age. Anyway here in the future I just sent an email to the outer cape chorale to throw my hat in the ring. We shall see what we shall see. I do need to start performing again, of this I am certain. Anyway I’m going back to the beginning of the end to see what Blague entries could have been so controversial in the past but I think that was it. I don’t think I had anything else to say. Just that one harmless post? Maybe something later when it comes to the Daily Mirror? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. This is truly ridicule, if faut dire. 

And here it is nearly a year later and I’m just going to fill in where I can: I suppose I’ll start with things happening over nine months later than this post: Thoughts for the agent: It was a long haul getting to Hachette and we were over the moon about that deal. You gave me such great direction in rewriting the proposal and adding sample material and it yielded something great. Though we didn’t close that deal until July 2020, I was already locked in my office all day everyday from early that Spring outlining the 24 chapters for new book before creating the manuscript which then S would read and make edits which were minimal as the copy really poured out of me rather camera ready. Stella was also manning social media and liaising with you and the publisher and all the outside world on behalf of S+C.

The July 1 2021 deadline was always going to be tight but we took your advice again to heart—to get as much in as possible by that date, and then to take the following month to pass chunks along to the publisher. I was definitely in the zone and had pretty much half the book written by the end of June of that year. We had delivered the first quarter of six chapters to L, and readying the second quarter. Stella was loving the chapters and your own feedback was that is was beautifully written. I was to be on a roll to write six pages a day to finish the manuscript in a timely fashion. As it was Lauren already pushed back the pub date from January to April 2022 and our expectation was she would love the material as it was near exact to the sample we presented with the proposal.

Then of course we all know what happened. S and I were not in communication although I believe we were both separately hoping to get the second quarter of the book to L while I forged ahead with writing the additional chapters. Meanwhile I remember you calling the house as you were trying to get a handle on what was happening, which I explained. Not long after the book contract was cancelled, which was an awful blow to say the least. There has been a question mark hanging over my head ever since which is: Was it simply the fact that we were now going to be that much more delayed? Or did L not like the material? Or both? I to this day don’t have a clear answer in my mind, as again, the chapters were so like the sample.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Sagittarius 23° (December 15)

Well this is the four-way day and it is really not that easy. And then we speak for ninety minutes. I’m definitely hitting a low point, so fatigued. Having been so through the ringer it is almost that much more exhausting to feel the relief of the end of a détente. I will go to Tin Pan Alley and order some crab cakes but the vibe is distinctly not what I’m in the mood for, so I end up going for a wee stroll and run into Dave Brown who is going to trivia at the Pig so I tag along and I turn into this weird secret weapon. (In the future reading this I get a pang because I lost touch with Dave, so I give him a quick ping.) It is really weird reading back on this day because I would have seen H. for the for the first time and yet I speak so matter of fact about it. I think what happened is that I wrote the first few sentences months after the event already. Such that each of these Blauges of this era are amalgams of bits and pieces added at different times. Because I have OCD I can’t not have a full calendar year of days written and they have to be of a certain length. H. has said in the past just leave days blank and start over. Not on your life. I am currently in the process of catching up on 282 daily entries, while still moving forward, while doing other things. But it can be very good for my mental health to be sure. So I will do what needs doing and just keep going. It does feel quite therapeutic. And what I’m currently doing is reviewing past Blagues for some kind of evidence of my doing something of which I was accused. Fun times. I am coming upon some venting round about July 23, nearly a month after H. took a powder. I’m getting angry I see and it now makes me happy to see that I am. Good for me. But I think having Blagued these things once is good enough for now. Here is a rerun from July 26 whch may actually be the culprit but it is a posting of which I remain very proud:

You may’ve deluded yourself into believing that my forwarding you the “concern trolling” messages from L and he who must not be named was simply a reactionary act, something emotionally charged, but I assure it was not. Yes, to receive a message from an acquaintance whom I met through J and N, two years ago, who subsequently drunkenly tried to seduce me at your last New Year’s Eve party, is annoying. Especially as it signaled that my once dear friend who introduced us, a friend I reached out to multiple times this past month, with no response back, would have spread the news in her inimitable way. Then to wake to a message from him, someone who has not once contacted me in all these years. The person with whom our host ridiculed her so-called best friend. That sickening morning—I always tried to get up and eat and depart before the early gossip ensued—when that mouth breather and you raked poor JJ, who wasn’t there to defend herself, over the coals for her “no talent.” I was near to retching. And so was someone else who may now be loath to admit it.  A Leo who prides himself on loyalty is the most opposite of it in the negative expression thereof. Shame. And, so what? You return to your friendship, a phony, keeping hidden the fact that you trash your best friend, and to and with whom? A sycophantic manipulator? A hijacker of conversations? A getter of weddings? A blowhard? Imagine, imagine, how she would feel if she ever thought (though she does suspect, she’s not fucking stupid) that you make fun of her with many people on the regular, that you condemn her to strangers whom she’s never met. Meanwhile your vaping stooge was already in on the joke—this was nothing new, this trash talk, this was well-worn territory…it wasn’t the first time you together made her the butt of your joke. We both left the breakfast table in absolute disgust. We didn’t say a word, we exchanged looks and I think both thought that if we made this silent move it might send a message. It didn’t. One may disagree with me now, of course, but I wouldn’t know because we are no longer connected. The fifth house of Leo is “co-creation with god” and people of the sign like to play it to the hilt, deciding who can do or gain or receive what as a result of what you bestow. We have been the recipients of your incredible kindness and generosity but we have also felt the undelicious sting of your suddenly pulling it out from under us. Something that smarted for years. Loyalty is something neither of you two kennel dwellers understand. I have always been exactly who I am. I came out to my parents at seventeen and to everyone at at nineteen. The first time we were ever in bed together there was another boy with us. It was innocent enough. In Paris the year we all met, Amy and J and Max and J and L, I had dates with othe boys. L, you even made breakfast for me and a friend one morning after returning from a sleepover at S’s. It didn’t matter then to me and it doesn’t matter now. I fell in love with the most beautiful and intriguing and captivating and interesting person on the planet. She happened to be an inny. But I have always liked outtys too. And I never hid the fact. Others, you, gradually started hiding the fact; such that I felt, oh well, I guess, if I’m going to get love at this point I better start hiding it more and more too. But not really. I expressed who I was. I spoke to my bisexuality on stage. Hell, I even did M drag on the boat. Yes, I did Brando, too, but, remember I’m the one with the tasteful makeup and ensemble in the photo from Dizzy Place in Paris for L’s 21^st birthday in 1986. I’ve remained true to myself and I applaud others, especially those I love more than anyone in the world (that’s you), doing likewise. But this shit? This shit?. This embargo on communication and information and friendship. Treating me like I’m a disease—this is the most disloyal act of all. And each of you are perpetrating it in your own way. I’m a good person. And none of your gaslighting revisionist bullshit is going to ever make the likes of me think otherwise. So, tell your concern trolls to fuck the fuck off. I don’t want any insidious messages from them. I don’t like or respect them. And, unless a miracle were to occur, you don’t get to know me anymore. And that is my decision, not yours bitch.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.