Capricorn 23° (January 13)

Linguine Fra Diablo at Sal’s table for one, once again. Bumped into Greg C. which was super nice. Doodle loodle loo Doodle loodle loo. I need to take some screenshots of the festival website before it disappears. And now some edits to the Starsky and Cox site.Starsky and Cox are practicing metaphysicians with a combined thirty years of experience in private consultation. Starsky + Cox are certified humanistic astrologers whose unique methods are designed to treat the whole person and guide the individual to a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment. Please note: consultations are currently being conducted solely by Quinn Cox, as Stella Starsky pursues a masters degree. A private consultation consists of an in-depth and comprehensive (approximately) two-hour session, plus an hour-long follow-up session a month or so later. Clients are encouraged to consult with Starsky + Cox once or twice yearly.Quinn Cox also works with select clients year-round—12 sessions over a 12 month period—by special arrangement. Sessions are conducted either in-person, by Zoom, or by phone.I will resume the above process of going through our out-of-date website and making all the necessary changes. Then I will move on to the proposal currently on my plate. All I can do is make progress as best I can. I really want to dig back down to who I use to be. I was a witch, and actively so. I read so many spiritual books. I wish I had packed my yogi book because that might be the perfect thing to read. But that’s what the library is for really. Also Greg has so many books it might be a great thing—to let him recommend reading or have some kind of exchange and dialogue going on. But back to my previous statement. I would love to have a little esoterica shop. I think it best if it happens in Gloucester or Salem given the fact that Provincetown feels increasingly like a closed door. Liz’s is apparently open every day at 8. That is actually quite good to know, even in the summer when I can likely find a spot fairly easily. I hope by then I’m just doing a light edit and have my second advance payment floating into my bank account. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Capricorn 22° (January 12)

Linguine alla Vongole at Sal’s. Sophia and friend actually sat with me. They are both painting restorers. And they gave me a ride home which was great. Doodle loodle loo Doodle loodle loo. What is still clear a year on is that it doesn’t get better. I think about her and our life pretty much all day every day. This second holiday season alone was even more difficult than last year. I realize I was still in shock last year and the marriage wasn’t officially over and there was no third party in the picture. What is positive is that I am pretty much caught up to myself now, there are no papers left hanging around, and I have a to-do list that is growing and should provide me the proper scaffolding to claw my way out of this tragedy. And it is a tragedy. There is no comparison. One of us planned this for a very long time, denying this was the plan even when directly confronted; if only that could have been an opportunity to talk this all through and perhaps take this to a counselor with the goal of consciously uncoupling; if only that could have been the way this went, but it wasn’t. Instead the plan was to leave the country with the aid of a billionaire friend who I lost in the bargain. I’ve actually lost a lot of people who meant the world to me. And as someone who has no family at all in the world, it has been so incredibly devastating. As I say, writing from the future, it is a year later and nothing is better; if anything things feel so much worse, because the shock has worn off and now I feel only the pain. But the thing is when one leaves the country and gets set up in the most expensive area of the most expensive city in the world, filled with all our best mutual friends and the funds, apparently, to live in such a way while making no money but instead going back to school for another masters degree. I spent three years of my life picking up the slack so that she could get her first one. Not that this mattered when we were a pair, it was something I was happy to do. But the fact is I already did the bulk of bringing home the bacon; every word of everything created under our brand was created by me; I encouraged her also to write her own show, helping a bit to shape some of it, producing it in Provincetown, New York and Cambridge; there were so many clues in that show about where things were going; the solo endeavoring with the schooling being the main tell. But the point I’m trying to make is: If a person plans their “escape” and puts out a narrative that would inspire financial and moral support (and the discarding of the other party (me) in the process) and is living a completely new life in a tony apartment in a pricey city, not having to work but just be a full time student, with obvious signs of this financial support, especially, buying clothes and jewelry and going on “retreats” (most likely to Spain, not Vermont, pin in that) and gets immediately into a relationship with a hedge fund manager who has lots of money, spending a bulk of time and money, still, getting beauty treatments and dining out and being invited around to dinner parties, one is living a completely new life. It is much easier to put the past behind you when you move so far away and surround yourself with all our former mutual friends, all of whom are very wealthy, now on the arm of some money man, with a new cast of people who also live in luxury and would naturally assume, given the circumstance, that one is likewise an affluent character, it adds up to instant reinvention, it would be very easy to put the past and the person you spent the last forty years with behind you. This is not my experience. I was left by the side of the road, literally, left to die, really. I had to go through every paper and every box and every everything and pack it all up, while the other one completely avoided that process, not getting their hands dirty, or have to deal with the heart-wrenching process. Scott free.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Capricorn 21° (January 11)

Cassava pasta with anchovy onion and parsley and Yi. Doodle loodle loo Doodle loodle loo . Transporting back to the future from whence I am writing this. Hello, it is still New Years Day 2023. That’s right. I’m a year behind on my Blagues. Do NOT judge me. It’s been a hard year and frankly I got shit scared by those out for blood, whether it’s an intern whose life might be ruined, or a best friend wanting to be thrown under the bus for others’ amusement. Well the glorious thing is that this sort of thing will not be gotten away with when it comes to numero uno that is me. So look out world. Cue: Don’t Rain On My Parade. I showed up in drag on a transphobicatlantic cruise, and as Dame Judy Dench aka “M” since it was a James Bond theme night, these theme nights being prepared for in advance by their host, while we try to put something together from what we have. Never mind giving me a fucking break, give me a fucking medal for artistry in the line of a silently unaccepting but noticeably edgy reception that which my performance received; indeed it took the audience a good long time to discover what’s up. And by audience I do not mean the queen, oh yeah I should have led with this. I was in a wool dress and I was sweating. Cans remarked that my earrings were homemade from origami bits left from last evening’s dinner table design; she was right, but nobody heard her but me. (Go ahead and replace me as if you ever can. I think I know exactly what I’m doing only I won’t be sure until a few days go by, to let some magic take effect. “One of many who credit the Starsky + Cox brand of astrology for such self-realization,” is a clause I came across written in blue Sharppie on a random piece of mail needing discarding.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Capricorn 20° (January 10)

Slept in thanks to some gummies. Today is first day in a long time when I’ve felt truly rested. Still I have to pace myself and make today a long day. Need to schedule time to go back to VW plus do a sweep through Orleans for a shop. Had some eggs and chicken sausage for Monday brunch and going to spend the day getting all the proverbial ducks in a row. Will resume writing the book tomorrow and pretty excited about that. I should do some banking today for sure and continue the clear out of papers and such and make a schedule for moving into the cottage. I need to review photos for the place. It is still January but we know how quickly time can fly. I can buy a few things here meanwhile without any trouble. Going to try and get my hairs cut but nothing is open. Another day perhaps. I will run errands and breeze through the hypermarché and oh wow there are no vegetables. We have entered third-world territory. I need to be very clever moving forward if I am going to make the kind of impact necessary. Honestly, I am facing a great challenge. I have to be a humungous success or else I have to pack my bags completely. I do think I will channel my Libra heroes—Gore Vidal, Truman Capote, Arthur Miller, Oscar Wilde as well as John Lennon, Jimmy Carter, Ghandi, Pele— A wedge of romaine and some mussels for dinner. The thing is one cannot leave so completely unless one has been prearing themselves to do so for quite some time; would have been nice for me to have a head’s up. I did hear her on the phone talking to her Ontario friend and I spoke up calmly and invited her to tell the truth and she declined. I get it. I had declined when asked about the specifics of my extracurricular sex life. Wow did that whole sweeping subject warrant a conversation. By the time it did it felt so uncomfortable to have. I simply found ways to satisfy my dwindling libido, exclusively, in the company of other men, at intervals when it made sense to me to do so. Other bisexual married men. And over time, I met some individuals I really liked as people and I suppose I had a network of penpals at least such that I would on any given day have one or two emails from these friends. I considered myself fortunate and liberated in that I was an out bisexual who said so privately or publicly, on stage, mainly, but, surely the community in which I live—downtown Manhattan and Provincetown, where I produce a diverse, queer performing arts festival….ok, I am saying to myself, the way my beloved acting teacher Ed Morehouse would say: Let me stop you. I can go so many ways at this point in the conversation. I think I’m going to skip down to the next entry which is empty. But let me articulate the syntactical fork in the road. I was speaking about all the ways in which I was out all my life, and how that simple fact, plus a desert dearth of intimacy over decades in our relationship, resulted in my enjoying my network of friends when time and space colluded. But the other fork was more on theme of the times spent in said West Village with acting teachers and I’ll let the next Blague illumine on that score.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Capricorn 19° (January 9)

Dinner with Tim and Billy tonight. I will have a lunch of baked tofu w/ ginger and scallion. A relatively relaxing day. The wind is whipping. I receive a late breaking email from S. that makes my hear sink once again. I love visiting Zazu, it’s such a cool spot. Tim and Billy have such beautiful taste and their place is exactly what I would want for myself. Hopefully I’ll find something like that at some point. The kitties (Bebe and Stormy) are super cute and well behaved. I’m looking forward to making some major magic with Tim. Billy made a mayonnaise salad and boeuf bourguignon and we had some pastries from PBs. I keep telling them what to watch. I need to make a big movie list. I keep telling them Ideal Home will be their favorite. Doodle loodle loo Doodle loodle loo (traveling forward in time to nearly a year from now): And it’s pretty weird and fitting that the Tim and Billy thing happened a year ago as I had word from Tim today, it’s New Year’s day 2023 now, and saw photos of Billy doing his version of plunge (au naturel). Because yes, a year ago next week I will have spent an evening at their home. We’ve been going back and forth and after this night I will have them over again, but I will receive no invite after, and I will ultimately invite them again to me, only to learn that the friendship is somehow kaput. Well we know how somehow, or rather we know some version of the somehow which all stems from what will occur for you in September, conveniently, just nigh on your birthday, as one of the minions you never met will turn on you or so it seems; but you will get a note from madame ex say you are not to liaise with this, our web guy and I guessed graphic guy. It’s all very stupid because there was never any reason as to why, and to this day, there still isn’t. But what you will learn, months later, is that even though you didn’t do anything and it remains inexplicable, all the moreso, really, as said web guy now kisses your ass daily and acts as if nothing ever happened, which of course it fucking didn’t. But this guy is Tim’s guy so apparently, seething under the surface, was this weird resentment or something. Honestly this only surfaced like two weeks ago, when Tim basically said he didn’t want to be be friends. But then get this; not five days later did there arise a problem with his other minion who, as with the other one, we kind of got railroaded into using because they already work on Tim’s brand. A knee wig, I got a crazy email from minion two suddenly basically quitting and I was like where is this coming from. Sure enough, Tim had taken conversation that we three partners had just had together in earnest in a Zoom meeting about perhaps pausing this person’s work (social media) for a couple of months and somehow, well we know how: Tim told this guy that, what? Quinn didn’t want to work with him or something to that effect that would result in this guy writing me a hateful email out of nowhere….just like what happened with the other guy….oh come on. So at least the holiday brought clarity because in these past two years of being gaslit and scapegoated and left for dead by the road, I was actually really sad to lose two friends I really thought were keepers, Tim and Billy. But for whatever reason it wasn’t meant to be. Mean words have been spoken and that’s the way the cookie crumbles. I never say never, but I need a major break from hurtful people. I do not understand the way in which they conduct themselves. And if given a chance between the two of us at whom to point a finger? Oh, please. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Capricorn 18° (January 8)

Will visit East End for breakfast today and bump into Christopher again and end up gabbing forever. For dinner I’ll have part two of the Hot Dogs, Sauerkraut, Beans, Potato Salad while I bake some tofu for tomorrow. I will reach out to the contest winner, the Burch and someone called Dewey. I also need to contact C.M.. Will do that on Monday. I need to just keep doing a little bit at a time. I have a dinner date for Sunday so I will allow myself to start dry January after that. I have to try my best to get into near optimum health. That is my priority—so cliché for January. Not so much dry January as Jabruary for me. Doodle loodle loo Doodle loodle loo (traveling forward in time to nearly a year from now): I’m continuing to go through a bunch of papers from this time last year from which I just time-traveled. Cosmic joke for people who love to laugh at life’s lemons mark Marin Chelsea Handler penny arcade dynasty handbag Desiree Birch debs gatenby Chris Tanner Ken Bullock Bridget Everett Erin Markey John early Cole escola Jeffrey self Alec mapa JVB Sandra bernhardt Ross Matthews Danny burstein Jill armenante Margot Gomez drew drogi Julia Sweeney Beth lapedus Justin Sayer Amy Stiller Margaret Cho varla Jean Bianca Del Rio unitard Ruby mccollister . I really do believe in my ideas at this point just so you know. You will be very happy to learn you have your own book agent and though you will have a terrible falling out with your partner, the pendants might actually do well, in large part thanks to you. Your cosmic joke/blague idea is really ready to be taken to the next level, which I think is something you should work on over the summer. Man I really think you should shoot for that small studio even in Gloucester. You can sleep on the couch even. Just unpack everything and have a place, on a train line, close to Boston, and a great place to be in summer with beach access. And yet you could always lock it up, even Airbnb it, while you travel abroad. And connect with the Salem scene in any case—perhaps even a reading room in Salem, but it doesn’t matter it’s all the same thing. Gloucester is preferable. I’m going to do it. Ptown Letter: Dear Natives and Washashores, I am snugly settled in my same East End Provincetown digs as last year, and I am doing in-person (or Zoom) consultations with regular clients, salon-style (that means tea), for half the usual rate. Consider it a form of tithing but, also, I am resolved to get spend this new year renewly doing the thing I love most, working with and helping motivated clients achieve their desired goals and circumstance. Let’s make magic, Q. The wide-spread version would be (happy new you) Dear Clients, I hope your holidays were full of cheer and that you only gained the weight you needed. I’m still in the spirit! And so I’m offering this simple phrase: If you book a one-time, two-part session with me in the month of January—schedule for any date in 2023!—you will receive half the usual rate (1K ÷ 2 = 500 smackers). I feel the need not to end on that note. I can think back to so many times in our youth but what stands out most are the early years in Paris and then all the times in England and France with la famille and traveling for fashion shows in London, Paris and Milan. All those exciting times. And then of course we lived in one of the best places one could live at the time, namely, the West Village, in the nineties. We walked to HB studios for our acting classes, ate six-dollar pastas at Mappa Mondo, with a bottle of wine from the shop across Hudson Street. Anyway, I was going down a majorly nostalgic road (and why not?).

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Capricorn 17° (January 7)

Weaning off eating out. Will end up only doing so once this week which is a huge improvement. I will end up only giving myself twenty-four days to get the health in check. It is so important to do. S. said yesterday she wanted to take a break for the weekend which I totally understand. I make the mistake, I suppose, of reaching out to her an emotional level; and I can almost feel a retraction happening. Leftoever corn and risotto. And then I’ll do the hotdog thing for late supper. *OK so from what I can see I’m looking at what’s called punch list: Apple TV back hold on I have no idea what this says. (The whole Parenthetical thing is so fun because underneath all this purific sorrow I know I know that sorrow and joy go hand in hand I know that like everything is paradoxical and that’s that particular paradox it’s oh what is the paradox of each of the signs and houses that’s a really good thing to ask well myriad paradoxes but yes sorrow and look at 12th house pig ecstasy and uh gosh what’s the opposite of ecstasy nothingness oblivion I guess I don’t know not quite, maybe numbness, that’s a really interesting well see this is the thing I wish that we had philosophers I want to do what the French did and they said like I want to be on a you know a sophisticated talk show I think I caught the tail end of that but using the Zodiac intelligibly you know every you have people on here who believe in God and your pastors and not the other and you know you’ve never had on a serious astrologer you know and you know for a while now people my friends will tell you too like nothing you’re going to meet my friends that I’m introducing you that now I’m not saying anything else I’m not saying anything else but the fact that once you get inside the whole like you know buy into the noble live astrology then you know like it’s all math like you’re into another universe where it’s you know all the math is the same it’s just based on this premise and you know like a lot of trump supporters it’s from an earth perspective like where like everything we’re revolves around the earth not the sun so uh is that a funny monologue? Well you know I have to say this voice recognition technology at this point is really freaking amazing I feel like I’m in some sort of relationship you know because for the first time someone’s hearing me with accuracy. Oh my God that’s a funny joke too um hang on don’t go away. My memory really does suck, more and more. I looked up the restaurant Aquarius which we loved in the Marais; turns out it had only just moved to Montparnasse, but now it’s closed. The galette de blé was delicieuse. Anywigs, it does fall under the category of heartbreaking I feel. I am reminded of maybe wanting to write something in the future anterior, which is much of this Blague. The most perfect little condo in Gloucester. I feel I could be happy there. It’s funny because I’m just now going through these legal pads I found in my ongoing process to review and record anything viable from any notebook or notepad and this particular legal pad is almost to the day applicable 2 this blog so I thought that was pretty funny and not so funny as the fact that a lot of the stuff on the To Do List is still on my To Do List a year later like water pik teeth whitening figuring out zoom anew anyway yeah it’s all the same as men.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Capricorn 16° (January 6)

Turkey and Cheese Sandwich flunch. Giant salmon cake dinner. Chatting with D.B. by phone. Trying to figure out after yesterday what next steps might be. Anyway I have very little to say on this day. But it does bring the topic of the ukulele back up once again. There is nothing to escape no controlling presence to barricade against I can now occupy myself be.  more own captive something myself organizing myself pretty well myself through punishments and labours squeezing myself into a hair shirt a boy unloved being denied might enable me to fall into it being unloved being denied love might enable me to fall into it there is nothing to escape no controlling presence to barricade against I can now occupy myself be more own captive something myself pretty myself through punishments and labors  Because I’ve been so completely misunderstood by others This is why I am now beginning to understand by self so fully I don’t want to make friends with anyone which is why I might soon be swept up in some social swirl. Never mind the fact that I had all the ideas I mean only one of us could carry on a brand like ours publishing books specifically but I mean to say is I’ve always been the writer of course but also the conceptualizer the conceiver the Weaver of hour intellectual property our take on the subject’s hour well you know we didn’t make a lot of money but it certainly paid off in ways over the years and still doing so the point being I’m the one who can move forward because I’m the one who was always in that position to do so you know I wrote under what was the dual brand and there’s no refuting or even debating the equality of the two parties in relationship to their responsibility and contribution to the brand I under the larger umbrella of the brand you know I generated the writing that is not to say that I am more than 50% of the brand I just wrote you know 97% of the books you know. The great thing about the dictate function is that it can start getting me into the space of you know presenting to an audience which I’m soon going to have to do or die. It’s a daunting prospect what can I say but one that has to be done and you know I’m you know I’ve had a glove slapped in my face as a challenge you know when by someone who was prepared for the battle before you know the challenge was even made you know it’s that ability to put that fix in and use time as a weapon end tool should be the other way around tool and weapon I am trying to write these things down as I go I’m actually coming to you from New Year’s Eve in the future from the date of this entry and I’ve been spending the day um physically tying up all minutiae and um loose ends to otherwise and um making a very conscious shift from 22 to 23; and in so doing I know that I’m preparing the way and um that’s a thing preparing the way and it’s a good thing and it probably in the you know zodiacal scheme is ruled by Aquarius because like John the Baptist prepares ye the way and gets everyone else ready um he’s like the Barker outside uncommercial St inviting you in to see the main event sure. Um so I will go through these legal pads that I have older than the ones I’ve been you know going through today already and let’s see like you know just going to start chucking things away but I might you know there might be things that are worth dictating in and having them you know become separate documents or whatnot moving forward so right I’m going to start reading right now.* 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Capricorn 15° (January 5)

I will end up at Fanizzi’s this evening and have some mussels and cod which wasn’t half bad. Today was not easy. Well in a sense it really was. All I said was “I do” when asked to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Otherwise it was a nothing burger and I was encouraged by the fact that (I can’t get into it) I seem to not need to lose all the power and be subject to somebody else’s dictates. That is not fair. Nice people at the bar from Australia. It was overall pretty jolly but I am becoming increasingly uneasy. I must get my act in gear and I know I’m hitting extinction bursts en route to doing so. lllllllllll Back to my little blue notebook of collected words that will now forever be recorded herein. (This is the gloomiest of the gloomiest days–I’m writing from the next New Year’s eve in the future).  I get up and stroll a magic path long overdue. I am walking off the past, sneaking in on down the avenue, to reunite with my bicycle I left behind. If you didn’t have fantasies you wouldn’t have problems. It is never to late to become….my sixties will be like my twenties. Writing and performing bad poestry. Good Business is the best art. As my libido failed I had more sex. What is misunderstood is that now I’m a huge disappointment and so I was doing loved ones a favor by outsourcing. Because I’ve been indulgent in so many hedonistic ways it’s why now I don’t have to be. My love that was they wonder why I couldn’t be this person while we were together but the answer is in the question. If I’m to do this I’d like to make it until 90. For Tom it really is a first draft it needs to be more prescriptive and poetic at the same time and what strikes you know as dense should become sidebars after bicycle carrots shopping read the notebooks first which is exactly what I’m doing same as with sex becoming a pariah more than being alone or reveling in solitude this is how I’m finding or have found my voice having no body to talk to so we get revisions to Madam X read full Virgo woman after having read the sample declare that this is part of the process that the ex never … talk to her about the star of foam. I get to be a true artist now I get to be the older alchemist I’ve always wanted to meet I get to channel my circuit energy and own the truth because now have now learned what it’s like to be suicidal perhaps now I have a chance to live to a ripe old age . Because I’ve been so scapegoated and gaslit shunned and something by all our mutual friends I can now just slid I don’t know normal captivity and containment I have no idea what that means I can now escape their normative captivity and containment.  

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Capricorn 14° (January 4)

We will almost argue by phone. I have to make my position clear. I think that I do. We already start going back and forth figuring things out. Mine is too vague hers, she admit, went too far. We need to find a middle ground. We absolutely won’t before tomorrow that’s for sure. I will stay in and make a corn and pea risotto. The meeting with the lawyer will come early enough and it is a mad dash in ways to get ready for it. llllllllllllllllll  it does end there. I will feel like a pin cushion and on top of that I really should get tests done and rethink even the concept of medication—I don’t want to be on anything quite frankly. I will resolve this time next year to really make changes in this direction. I’m going to write all afternoon, after a hardy late lunch. But for now I’m going through my notebooks, still and putting them to rest for the year. I wish I could tell you that a year from now you will feel better but I’m afraid that’s not the case. There is clarity, simply, because you will be divorced and money will be split and all that kind of stuff; but once the divorce is final there is nothing anchoring you and the slow drift will begin. Because the fact is you cannot trust that others really do want you in their life; they might be saying so but that just might be another form of control. Anyway, I’m going to make this easy on myself today and just get back into these notebooks: Today was a remarkable day. I don’t want to say good or bad. That sounds like tempting fate. But my wallet was returned. Amazing that none of the friends even write me, some double agents I the end. For me full moon in Pisces is closing a gap in personality. Pisces allows us to dream—a don’t dream it be it sort of thing. The combination of word and picture inexplicably empowering, Feeling “afraid of optimism” In so many ways I didn’t have a chanceI think you know that and yet history was to unfold seemingly all at once after many years of inertia? Don’t know what else to call it I will go ahead and purchase tripod and Halo Lite and all under the heading things to do at night. Look up Mars something people sense for a surplus of things illegible something most likely ahead Sunday Aries and Leo the creation with God so he rested so should you I don’t know if these are horoscopes I was writing at the time or what here is another sentence I don’t want to waste your valuable time but … Oh yeah that was a ditched letter to Meg I believe something I never had to write in the end and then it goes on to say my feeling is that this is going one more go is as good as gold I don’t know what that means either. Right so I got through the 12th there are still tasks on my docket I’ve yet to accomplish and yet as often happens with me I need to remove all obstacles to the single task ahead it worth works both ways the doing of ancillary tasks becomes a warm up exercise in gathering thoughts into sentences which doesn’t always come easy despite years of practice and as the minutiae gets resolved and the closer I get to articulating the main event the knowledge of getting closer builds and the fear gap of not delivery diminishes added to which a I am not and I don’t know what this word is a NGO oh I know I’m not on deadline other than a self-imposed one and B the party to whom I to deliver is so delinquent on deliverables to me. It doesn’t really matter what that all means. It’s meaningful enough without inferences or assignations.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2022 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.