Scorpio 3° (October 25)

Day Seventy-Three E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Got up at the crack and the sister-in-law was up. I made small talk for a second then headed out, stopping fo breakfast at Blue Willow on my way home. I can’t afford to miss a day but I’m so exhausted I’m afraid I will have to sit out most of this day. It’s a nothing burger and maybe I need the break in a sense. Even though every day has been a drama with movers back and forth and figuring it all out. It’s Monday and by Friday the movers will come and then it will be just me moving bits and bobs into storage. I cannot believe this is what has become of my life but so we have it. I don’t know what I would do without Bon Bon and Moo and all my other phone pals. Wondering what my life will be like once this week is through. It really is hard to imagine but I must do my best to see this time through. It’s so weird because for years I would design posters for our upcoming shows in NYC and so forth and now I can’t even remember how to do the simplest thing. How can that be so? How could I be so lame as all that. I need to change the headline. I did so much for us always and just so you know it will go unappreciated for a very long time. I always wanted her to shine and in a way I played Pygmalion (not Svengali, never Svengali) and I do feel as if I blew life into her. I don’t think that if I hadn’t shown S. a different optimistic idea of life that she would have become a great writer and comedienne and singer most of all. She is a great singer. There is so much I love about her. I will not believe later that she doesn’t read my slews of texts and my one voicemail. There is a stream of consciousness that always goes along with being a writer; but because these pas several near-dozen months have been this hodgepodge of writing the same Blague entries in various ways at various times, that it has several consciousnesses. I love the fact that auto-correct didn’t touch the word: consciousnesses. I am a catch I must come to learn. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Scorpio 2° (October 24)

Another dinner tonight at Alisons, this time boiled lobster with her brother and sister in law, both of whom live in Hoboken. Going to get them involved in Afterglow hopefully. Anyway it is a fairly fun night. It’s always difficult meeting new people, especially when you’re in the throes of deep depression. It’s going to be a long time before I have a beauty regime for instance that much is definitely sure. Oh I dunno what to tell you. I am going through the books in the basement and coming across such things that date back to our first year together. It is the most excruciating experience. I’m at a breaking point and say so and ask for a few sentences back which of course I never get. Writing this now I forget how hard this particular time actually was; so I’m hoping it will help me weather the current storm I’m sailing through. In the present all I can think about is refried beans, cheese and guacamole. And it is here I watch a remastered The Philadelphia Story. Daniel Ogden Stuart script. David Ogden Stuart was an asshole character on M.A.S.H. Mary Nash plays the mother in this film while Cora Nash plays the sort of spinster writer in The Women, both directed by George Cukor. And of course what her name, Little Mary, is in both Why (oh I wonder?) didn’t I write this Blague in real time? Um. Because I was going to hell. Because I was in shock. What I will learn later is that I struck a chord. That she is angry with herself for being with me. Just drinking some Devil’s Purse. They are smoking weed. I’m going to wait on the weed portion until closer to bed. I brought some nice hummus and chips Kolsch. I can’t believe I’m the person who is now the third or fifth wheel. I can’t feel in the least good about it. The pain is truly absurd. I need to make a nice cous cous sometime soon. There is so little time left, I have these permanent butterflies. It’s so hard to deal with. I am already fantasizing about finding some place in Paris for six months. But I don’t know now would I will know at some point soon, which is the process will be a constant Escher painting of moving staircases. I will sleep in the daughter’s room which is a bizarre place to be. I try not to take up any space. This will be the way things go. It is so odd to be this strung out person with nobody to love me.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Scorpio 1° (October 23)

Day Seventy-One E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Packing Afterglow Office. Will get some beer to bring to Alison and Dave tomorrow—going to approach them about Afterglow. Will get a pizza at Montano’s. I know how in shock I am and how sad. It is really difficult and shall continue to be. It is unbelievable how much heavy lifting I’m doing with my terrible bad back. I am twisted out of shape and feel like I should suddenly be playing Richard III. It would be so wonderful to try and dip back into the world. Maybe find a place back “up” that would work for me yearround. It’s funny to be writing this in retrospect. I will on this day make it know that it’s a rough couple of days. If one is receiving my voicemails they’d understand. The memory lane thing is killing me. Anyway, I thought one would like to know that there is a basket of fancy gloves and winter hats that I will point out to the project manager. In fact I am organizing the whole office to make it very clear the breadth of contents there as well as in the basement and the bulk of books upstairs (which were not my purchases over the years). Everything that the other team takes will be forgone by me. I won’t want anything that I haven’t already taken. Perhaps some day one can borrow an art book or two. Sad to part with them but I don’t want to dispute Don’t know about the ukulele. Weird it will turn out there is another ukulele later on in this saga. (I’m supposed to be doing three of these an hour and I have to get into a groove. I’m pushing my luck now I know. you see The thing is I’m in the future trying to represent several days in the past when I’m so deeply traumatized that I don’t know what’s going on I’m in a nine room house with a full basement filled with 40 years of shared memories one of the rooms our office is completely jam packed with files as is the basement and the attic where I work I won’t know the enormous strain this will be in the toll it will take on me until months later . And I know every day seems to dwell on the same basic facts but that’s how trauma works I’m being traumatized in an instant or I have been traumatized in an instant I will be told how traumatizing I have been. But it’s such a bafflement in such a paradox because we’ve been existing day in and day out yes things have been rather contentious but for the most part it’s been business as usual a ritual unfolding of days and so though it comes as no surprise comes as a total shock at the same time first 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Libra 30° (October 22)

Day Seventy E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Afterglow packing today. 

In a Fog. I would have otherwise totally incapable of writing anything on this day. It’s just over a week away that I have to leave this last home where we lived together. I’m barely stitched together. I am distracting myself of course from the pain by simply packing, packing, packing, but also drinking low-alcohol-content beer that still refreshes in this choppy weather while not getting me drunk enough that I can’t hang out at my go-to restaurant for hours on end. I need hours on end. I need to be in a place surrounded by familiar faces and strangers to talk to. I need to be worn out so that when I get home I don’t think about how much I miss the love of my life. I need to pass out. But I can’t be drunk passing out or else I risk the drive, etc. It’s a delicate balance. I’ve always liked boys as much as girls, that’s no secret. But alone I think oh fuck: I’m so not camera ready to be with a girl—I don’t give enough of a fuck about boys to think along the same lines. As old and gross as I am, a male model could walk in the room right now and I would have no problem having sex with him (if that’s what’s on the menu); however, when it comes to women, I feel like I would be a total gross out to them, which might go a long way to explain my relationship heretofore. I just went to use the dictation function but it wasn’t working. You should know I’m writing this on January 29 of 2022. It’s a blizzard and I have no internet. Is it possible the dictation function requires the internet? That just makes me feel more spied on than I usually do. Good thing I type this fast otherwise who would have known what would happen. I will make a list of folks. Every person that can possibly help. And a list of those with whom I’d like to remedy stuff. I keep forgetting that fact and before we know it I’m going to suddenly turn into a pumpkin here and I can’t be caught out.To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Libra 29° (October 21)

Day Sixty-Nine E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Afterglow Packing today.Day Sixty-Nine E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Afterglow Packing today. Yeah so it’s now like 10 ******* days before I have to get out of this house I’m working like a ***** in the basement and I’m relying on some friendships and such to help me through. Cyrus has been a ******* Angel of a man in my life he is the hipster dude ish Brooklyn straight mojo ************ that I need in my life he’s fantastic and uh he cares for me which is really strange friends are not friends unless they’re friends Joe is not my friend I have to accept the fact you know it’s OK it really is OK I don’t mind I really don’t mind ah she always seemed uncomfortable around me and that’s fine I think you know what Matt said was the most brilliant thing which is that like you know it’s not like Oh well is the Pope Catholic you know it should come as no great surprise that I am who I am and I we’ll only learn that later right now where you are I feel for you happy to handle this week it’s very difficult you will find it’s very difficult indeed and as I say you’ll be in the basement a lot and you’ll be pulling apart pieces of every single aspect of life and you look at every ******* little madesha item and you’re gonna cry your eyes out you are going to cry your mother ****** ****** ******* eyes out let’s do it OK so where am I so 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Libra 28° (October 20)

Day Sixty-Eight E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Dinner at C-shore with Brad. The I’ll stop by Van R. Day Sixty-Eight E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Dinner at C-shore with Brad. The I’ll stop by Van R.Of course I have no idea what any of this means all I know is that I’m coming up on a very tragic moment. The cool September sorry the cool October air is somehow invigorating but it doesn’t solve my problems I’m underclock nobody knows that I have to go through every box every everything every moment every moment oh every souvenir every memory every every sensation sensibility I have to go through it all and I have to decide who gets what and who doesn’t everybody gets something and nobody gets anything and it’s all one big Misha gosh of love I want so much to be able to tell my love of life that bye love is pure that I am abelard to Eloise should have just chopped it off ’cause then I wouldn’t have to do anything with anyone else that I could just be with her and that’s the truth I probably shouldn’t have said that aloud but I’m actually using the dictate function in my word application 2 retroactively fill in  Much of what I could remember of this time I have no recollection of any particular day but all I know is that this was in hindsight a really ******* difficult time and I played it cool and I can’t believe how strong there was and I’m so proud of myself and you know I I will face dark moments in the months ahead but um I will become more and more happy with myself despite all my shortcomings 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Libra 27° (October 19)

Day Sixty-Seven E.D.A.N.O.W.W. The clock is ticking. There are endless holes in my Blague now. Day Sixty-Seven E.D.A.N.O.W.W. The clock is ticking. There are endless holes in my Blague now. Kiddo you have no idea what’s in store for you If you can believe it it’s now actually 2022 and January 24th now so I’m playing a little bit of catch up filling in all these blogs not that I have to fill them in because why would I ever have to . My hair is so soft you cannot believe it it’s just feels like a ******* dream right now I don’t know how it is that it all just came together but it did and so you know I want to tell you about what’s going to happen but you’ll never believe me um yeah you might find your way into hatred and back again it’s going to be a nightmare no matter any which way you slice it I do know for a fact though that de facto for a fact that fat people ******* fat **** fat ******* other people and I don’t care Lucifer if you want to take my body because you’ll never have my soul ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I like botanical prints I like Prince in botanical prints this I’m doing my best it’s all I can do trying to fill in things for you I sing a song I’ll sing a song all day long without ever asking permission why should I ever have to apologize for myself I will never do it again the singing method is fun let’s do it again let’s do it again right 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Libra 26° (October 18)

Day Sixty-Six E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Was up late last night but managed to get out and to Provincetown where I delivered my bike into storage and met the realtor to sign the lease and provide first month’s rent. I realized that I never read the letter from the other lawyer which I failed to see attached on Friday. What a dick. But also, just so lame to ignore the fact I have been making my own arrangements for months. And then he writes a second time saying that I am malevolent and uncooperative. This is a classic bully tactic—to accuse others of what you yourself are doing. Anyway, I’m not afraid of bullies and I will just keep moving forward holding my head high. I will write a rebuttal just for my own peace of mind at the very least There have been some clues. The other lawyer called our counterproposal “truly ridiculous” which is pretty laughable coming from him. The whole thing is ridiculous. But again, if you want to point a finger I’m happy to hold up a mirror. In Ptown and Wellfleet doing some Afterglow research

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Libra 25° (October 17)

Day Sixty-Five E.D.A.N.O.W.W. Did many dump runs getting rid of things that neither of us want. I will join Cyrus and his friend Joey for the final night of Mac’s. It is a beautiful day and I’m grateful to be outside. What really happens today is that I pull everything apart, deconstructing the house, acquainting myself with the location of everything in my possession, and continuing to divide things, as best I can. I went to the bookstore to ask if they take books—they don’t—but I had a nice chat anyway. I think when it comes to buying a place Wellfleet would still be my first choice. I will end up doing food shopping at like 6:30 this evening. I find that the evening is actually my favorite time to do this sort of thing. I learned that a certain server I’ve been around all summer had Covid. What can you do? I am definitely run down and need to take care of my immune system, which is why I’m happy that most of the heavy lifting is over. Is it? I don’t imagine being in that place on October 17. Honestly most of the heavy lifting had really yet to begin at that point. But we delude ourselves to protect ourselves. I’m so sick of being the one who does all the work, emotionally and otherwise. I am not feeling appreciated on any level and haven’t for a very long time. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.

Libra 24° (October 16)

Day Sixty-Four E.D.A.N.O.W.W. It was all about the packing all night long really. I made some headway but I also am now clear on the enormity of this situation. I will end up having a snack at the Fox and Crow where I have never yet been. It is a bit of a shit show and they only have three people working and my pricey cup of soup came in a paper to-go package. I know today was something of a stay in fetal position day ending with that bully tactic of receiving a late breaking and very annoying email from the other side. I am so looking forward to this portion of the program being a thing of the past, I must be honest. Doing a giant food shop at at Friends today. I’m sorry to have to inform my former self, from two and a half months later, that although things start to look a little bit better the fact is nothing gets better at all. It’s not necessarily anyone’s fault—or rather laying blame is definitely not going to be a recipe for any kind of success. I will do all in my power to be the best defendant I can be, which is such a strange thing to say. She has convinced herself that my anger was over something it wasn’t. My anger was only over one thing and that was the fact that she did very little work, pretty much always. I came to learn as our lives became even more tightly would that she does a lot of procrastinating, without any guilt in so doing (unlike me) and otherwise she pushes stuff around and makes endless lists. She is fine at having a lot of backing and delegating to those who have expert skills. But what you won’t believe, Bill, is the fact that, even given how hard she is pushing to have the one company to herself, she will end up giving up on it.  The only thing I can tell you now is that when it comes time to reckon with all of this you are going to be rather proud of your behavior and you are going to have proof in the pudding that things were never kosher otherwise. Also you may end up losing friendly feelings. I know it might be hard to imagine now but trust me you will learn great things about yourself and your capacity for kindness in addition to your incredible work ethic. But you will uncover certain home truths about those whom you’ve long plopped on pedestals. It mightn’t be worth it to invest any more hope in the situation. You are being vilified. You are being dragged through the rumor mill. You are not imagining any of it. 

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Cosmic Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree point of the Sabian Symbol may at times be one degree higher than the one listed here. The Blague portrays the starting degree of for this day ( 0°,  for instance), as I typically post in the morning, while the Sabian number corresponds to the end point (1°) of that same 0°-1° period. 

Typos happen. I don’t have a proofreader. And I like to just write, post and go! Copyright 2021 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved. Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2021 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox.