Libra 22° (October 15)

We may be flying to London on Sunday 11th or Monday 12th in November to attend a premier on the 13th. That would be a month from now. Then we would fly back on the 15th in the morning and go straight to Taja show at Oberon and then the next day drive to Montreal. It sounds like a lot. But it’s not impossible. I would def stay in hotel in Cambridge then I think. We shall see if this is even doable. I think if all can be accomplished easily will be fine. Maybe we can fly overnight on the 11th and arrive the 12th and go to hotel and just flop, or perhaps having slept well on the plane, we’d have all day Monday and all day Tuesday to kick around before going to the event on Tuesday night. So long as it’s okay not to leave until the morning of the 15th such that we arrive back at Boston in the afternoon. We can either keep the hotel rezzie or go to Reading that evening.

All in all we will be exhausted and will have to sleep on those plane rides and get our sleep on then. I will also have to have the entire show written by then without fail which is also fine. Could be fun. We have options. I want to much to make hay, now, while the sun shines so that I can be relaxed and let my good unfold; and also have time to make this show not just great but something that can move around. We really don’t have to change very much if we are focusing on getting new audience. That should be the plan.

Well it’s another Monday and a good start. I’m going to try to be through part A of my day by noon. Then my afternoon can be solidly about moving the needle forward. I must get back into my groove—it is essential. “If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear as it is: infinite.” So said William Blake. And I’m one to believe him. If I hit my marks today my own perception will be allowed to shift, if just a little, as well, opening onto a more infinite vision of, even, my own self. With the start of November, I will have two solid weeks to work all but exclusively on the upcoming show, work on which begins tomorrow evening in any case. I can finally dig back into the more creative elements of my life story that I might want to outline. This is my fourth time around the wheel writing these Blagues, meaning I’ve written upwards of 1,670 entrees thus far in my experience. Some of them are more than a page, mostly every one is two pages, so I have like 3000 some odd pages to read through for inspiration. That’s not nothing.

It’s just about getting some kind of head start, really. I mean, it would be enough to have two places for a couple of years with an office to go to. That alone would change my perspective after all this time, decades now, working from home. Everything under one roof—a full day’s work plus all the domestic chores. I don’t need Ben Sasse telling me how to feel more connected. I just need an office in a city and a transporter room from once to project some magic. That is all really. I will of course stay in our witchy wonderland of New England, in America, my spiritual home. I have a lot to be thankful for here; plus I do some of my best healing here. That’s now what I’m aiming for more than anything else. (I was just going to Google something and forgot what it is—hate that—oh well I hope it comes back to me.) I have a day of timed writing and some friendly clients. I am so fortunate that in all I do I get to uplift people, and to guide them.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Libra 21° (October 14)

Had a note from Neil Blair this morning inviting us to lunch as they are on the Cape! Alas, we are with family. And to think they are going to be in Wellfleet—it’s a bit weird. I had put together some suggestions for them for visiting Boston, where they’re looking at schools with their kid; but I had no idea they would be visiting the Cape. Neil’s aunts own an inn in, he always said Chatham, but it’s really Harwich, says Neil’s cousin, Chris, whom we met at Cipriani. I asked is it on Pleasant Bay and Chris said it’s called the Pleasant Bay Inn. So yeah. So odd when friends who live in foreign countries show up in your town when you’re not there. Not ha-ha funny but you know. Watching Tracy Ullman this morning she had a brilliant skit about being overly woke; which rang so true. One of the things was just watch Friends without being triggered by the homophobia and the heteronormality. It’s really funny that came up since we binge-watched old episodes last night upon our return.

Today was a big catch-up day though I did do some maintenance on the Brian front. Nancy Bauer, the dean of SMFA got back to me and I’m hoping there is a way we can make this all happen. My drothers would be to partner with them and have them be the hosting venue. In any case my mind is pretty well centered on this new Moveable Festival and all that it can be, based in Boston, with big donors at the ready. The work entailed in going for that is the same as needs to happen in any case. The trick is to keep everything very simple and just go from point to point in the process of what needs to happen. I may be wrong but I think Nancy gets that part from our previous conversations. She got the group mailer I put out and responded. I do understand that Bri had fanbase come to Oberon but….I’m going to disagree with him here.

Even in the case of Boston I think it is about new outreach, specifically going super queer—and I’m thinking Fenway, “Machine” people, JP world and maybe going really deep in LGBTQ in terms of “community outreach” as well as the entire student LGBTQ population in Boston reaching out to all the schools organizations. Also as alternative to a venue in Provincetown where Glow can be lead presenter, we could do our lead presentation in Boston. The prob with Ptown is hard to rent place on season and off season nobody is around. And there are no kids or schools. The Oberon crowd being fanbase is fine. We would be looking for new audience for Bri in Boston i think.

To be able to keep (S)MFA in the picture and who knows maybe they will donate the space. I think we would approach this completely differently from the Oberon show. It’s like I told Nancy: There are two basic ways to go about this. Or three actually, depending on your own goals and needs

We could simply make a plan to present the show at SMFA for one night or a couple/few outside of the NEFA equation. Like we have in the past other places, and figure out the $ bit. In the case of Endicott and other schools that have budget for this we could come up with a flat fee and then SMFA could take all the ticket money. Or we could come up with a split of sorts with a guarantee.

The way the NEFA grant works we have a couple of options….

The way the grant works is that Afterglow (actually working under Glow aegis) will produce a tour and, as the lead presenter, also produce one of the runs of said tour. What we’ve learned with the touring grant is that we are unique in that most lead presenters have brick and mortar; so, in the case of Glow we would be present at some place we rent in say our home base of Provincetown; and then we have to secure two other “partner presenters” each of which apply directly (very little paper work) to NEFA to present the piece. It’s almost like a matching grant in that the artists get the NEFA money directly which is typically around or near the same amount that the venue would be investing in the artist/show—the finessing of which I’m now learning. And then venue keeps all the proceeds which further offset the investment.

The third way this can happen is that the Glow, as lead producer, could present at SMFA and in effect “rent” (either really or you could donate that rent back to us) and simply be our brick and mortar for what would be the lead presentation on the tour. This way you wouldn’t have to be a partner per se and have to deal with any of the NEFA bit yourself. You would simply be the space but we can certainly trumpet SMFA in the process of our own partnership.

So there are a number of ways to slice and dice!

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Libra 20° (October 13)

Yesterday, post Brian meeting, I came up to the room and positioned myself in the doorway of the balcony as the sun was going down but still felt strong. For one I thought it would help my chesty cold; and, second, I was feeling as if I were on holiday for one last hour this so-called summer. But it was warm enough to just be in undies, and I had a little beverage and just chilled. Then I took myself for oysters and crispy white wine. And then returned to the room and just lay on the bed and luxuriated in miles of alone-time, or so it felt. I look forward to the next time I can have that experience but I don’t suspect it will be any time soon. And then I got hungry so I went back to my haunt for yet another clam pizza. To you this might sound like nothing. To me this is decadence of the first order; and for days I’ll be guilty about being that person. Ken Howard as I said yesterday. But that’s okay. I am an eccentric and I know I can go places; but I’m so genuinely grateful and, so, good: I like helping others succeed because it feels like the greatest success. And I am good (at it); it is good to be a part of other people’s good. They can be so appreciative and I feel like Boston is wide open to me.

Creatively I need to make sure the form isn’t frayed. We need to beef up our understanding of what this can be, and what it can’t. We could use some timely elements in the piece. Places where you can insert news of the day; it requires staying au courrant; we might want to bring in more of a musical director? Or have Rene play more piano. I feel you get stuck at the piano; and we might try opening some things up. Lines can and should not be delivered casually. As the actor you need actions. What do you want from us. And through what actions to you achieve your objective. That sort of actory thing can be fun and breathe fresh life into the project.

So Stella came back to Cambridge about 12:30 and we went for lunch. If there is any evidence that I am on some kind of spectrum it’s in my need for the right table in a restaurant. My mother used to move around like Lucy in her own episode. (See what I did there.) I got two soups and a plate of sushi back at Cafe Sushi. I looked up the name of the guy that Seizi was talking about and he and I are already friends on Facebook. Love that. I need to get some personal stationery. And send the kids some books. Then we had a little edgy moment leaving town. But not before we stopped at Central Bottle for charcuterie and cheese and other yummies. Sad the Paradise bar has closed. And where Toscanini’s is is going to be a boutique hotel (with Toscaninin’s back in it). The times they are a changing but then again so am I. And we seem to be merging back to Cambridge. I see myself with a nice apron on and I’m at least twently lbs. lighter than I am right now. I will have an office from which to so all I need to do. And I can get into some kind of routine, finally. And ride my bike—that is the best part. That part of the world is so terribly liveable and lovely. We’ll be able to host friends and travel and stay with friends. And just feel freer than we have the last few years, staying put, school and so forth, without our city dwelling. It’s easier in some ways but not really in the end. And I’m ready with this new auspice to tackle bigger fish.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Libra 19° (October 12)

So we came to town yesterday and had lunch, as I mentioned, at Cafe Sushi, then Stella had an appointment so I just regrouped in the room. I had hoped to sleep but that was a no-go. We went for an early bite at one of our other favorite places on the planet, Waypoint, and had what I always have, a shared veggie salad and the uni boccatini. Oh yes. Then we opened a bottle of good stuff, a delish Georgian red, and had Emma and Joe meet us in the Veritas lobby, which was lovely. A little pre-show something that isn’t the swill version. Then onto the main event which was Tori Scott at Oberon. I have never produced an artist that I’d officially not met in the flesh, but here we were. And wow was she ever fantastic. The best combination of voice and humor and pacing and craft and chops and poignant and honest and dirty and let’s go back to funny and vocally fantastic. And what a sweet human being to boot. The place was packed it was a great opening night of a new season of our series. For one night I didn’t have to think of all the work I’ve taken on and the stress associated with getting all the things done I need to get done. I really wanted to just forget my troubles and c’mon get happy for a hot second, which I believe I managed quite succcessfully to do.

After the show we went back to Waypoint for some clam pizza which was right up Emma’s alley, since she is from New Haven. But of course! Anyway it was so nice to be with kids (who easily, age wise, could be our own); and I really love them both. The evening was like a luxury vacation in twenty four hours in that we had received some encouraging news early in the day and truly began to feel and imagine how this might indeed be a sort of major turning point we had been hoping and hankering for. I’m so gun shy when it comes to getting my hopes up about anything really. Which is an awful thing to admit, as true as it might be. At the same time I must prepare for said good; which means making some strong decisions, and no quick ones. I’ve been there and I’ve done that and I’m very much interested in keeping things supremely real. The truth is I’d make a really fun insane person but unlikely a very safe one. So as eccentric as I may be—suddenly I’m the older guy at the bar in a tony Cambridge restuarant—interacting with the young waitstaff who regard we as some kind of somebody which is so adorable and such a slippery slope. I don’t want to be Ken Howard.

So I met with Brian in the lobby for a few hours and we went over a good deal of things. I think the equation could be a simpler one. Act as if. I need to get my brain around it all. For the lead-presenter event: We spend $7K (on the artists) then get back that same amount from the artist as a payout. Or if SMFA pays $3K and keeps box office then I’ve spent just 4 and you pay me full amount back so I’ve made $3K…in which case I mightn’t ask for all the money back. 7K/2K sounds more reaonable, as it adheres to that same ration of 9ths. We are also on track with getting some of the other grants moving; and that is why I transition this year to launching what will be my new company to create tours for artists throughout New England. To do that I need to raise money separately from Afterglow and approach a Boston-based set of people, and by that I mean corportations. This could surely have its own rental revenue source for an office in either Boston or Cambridge. I think as a Boston resident there is more available to me, but I can always have a small office somewhere on that score. So really this work isn’t a chore at all—it is something very important and motivating and I look forward to making this next dream come true.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Libra 18° (October 11)

Drove to Boston this morning and it was a little tense, traffic wise. But we got to Mount Auburn with time to spare and I parked the car at the hotel and just strolled around which was fun. There is something so chill about Cambridge and it seems to me a very good option as an American home base moving forward. I went by our old apartment building and there was a sign out front for a rental, with an agent name listed. I went into the old vestibule where the mailboxes are and saw that same name listed, so the realtor lives there. Not that I would want to live in that building again but it might be someone interesting to meet slash know. I think the next several months will be very chill and telling. My focus, as I’ve been saying, is on health and well-being. I have brought myself to the brink of exhaustion and need a break.

We had a lovely meal at Cafe Sushi, whose owner, Seizi Imura, is very charming. I sat down at the sushi bar in something of however because the hostess wasn’t. She was the opposite—quite rude actually. Still it is one of my favorite sushi restaurants on the planet; and I’m happy that it will be part of my world moving forward. I really need to land; and yet I have no desire to move back to NYC (please don’t make me); I don’t really mind being a type B personality, though you may differ in my opinion that I am one. Trust, I am. I’m not really all that ambitious. It’s just too hard. But for the people I know for whom lightening struck, anyone else I’ve known who has really had a lush life are those that really didn’t have to work (really) in the first place. They may be a little less broken than me, but not happier. Probably they are more regretful.

I am not regretful in the least. I’m something different. I’m repairing. I’m putting the brakes on. I’m recovering for real now. I believe in health and vitality. I can’t do what other people do. I must go deeper to get to a truly lithe way of living. I had this incredibly vivid dream last evening. I was in this multi story house which I later learned belonged to JD. There was fabric and throws and all sorts of things strewn kind of everywhere. It was like a design workshop but there were clippings of plants, too. As if there was a gardening section to the operation—wee sprigs of different plant life for either transplanting or pressing or as botany samples or all of the above. I got a wave of sadness as I always do regarding the demise of that friendship. But really how can one feel bad about a friendship with someone who was never a true friend—but, you see, when you’re a codependent like me, you can.

There was also a space where we were all kind of lying around on pillows and rugs, very Morrocan-y; and Michael Musto and some other Type A gays were there all sort of lounging around and it felt a little bit homoerotic but, as I may have mentioned before, I’ve only ever had a sex dream regarding women, never men, which I find shocking; and then, lo and behold, who should appear in the mix, but Christina Applegate, just in the nick of heterosexual time. She was sort of flopped in with all of us, all the male bodies, but nobody was messing around with here really—nobody was really messing around with anybody other then sort of carressing each other’s stomachs of all things; and she and I were just talking about art and film and entertainment.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Libra 17° (October 10)

People forget, though they do not need reminding, that I am an actual wizard. I have clairvoyant powers of prediction and have been known to affect the weather, specifically bringing on storm clouds. I have also experienced what can only be described as shapeshifting—pin in a big story on that subject—yet my ability to astral project is wonky, mainly due, I think, to allergies, a certain nocturnal asthma, that prevents me from restful sleep. So I might just move to Salem and become a stand-up metaphysician. My comic heroes are the ascended masters and Joseph Campbell and St. Germain and other sages and time-traveling alchemists. Rasputin was a scream. Aleister Crowly? He killed. These are my brand of funny men.

There are 12 rays now apparently in the Ascended Masters theosophy. That kind of makes sense in terms of astrology. I should trace my roots through the theosophical society. I should have a large shock of white hair and fit into tiny grey flannel suits.

If would have an apartment in Boston, an apartment in Paris, a house on Outer Cape Cod and a house in Maine, the Maine house and Paris apartment could be rented. I would write a show that answers the question how did you meet and come to do what you do.

Really it is about being within the construct of Time while coming to understand that all is one big “simultaneaity” happening in a cosmic instant which is exactly why it is that Quinn gets increasingly psychic and Stella, likewise, to borrow from the Baroness, “can see the future” in her own way. The trick is to just start picking stories from our individual and shared lives and plug them into a timeline until we find a string of stories that work as a show. Cosmic.

Quinn is….Stella is….maybe Emily and Alejandro could play us.

So we are closing in on that newsletter notes on which will be the fodder for this Blague for the next few days. I need to build the momentum and get my words and pictures together and start putting together packages for Corporations. Also putting together a single web page for the new glowfest.org. I do need to address, via Open Letter to Former Afterglow Artist Who Might be Too big for us, that there are ways they can help us. I also need to put together an Open Letter to Would-be Sponsors who never heard of us. And once this newsletter period is over. And I am writing the book intros and the holiday show, simultaneously, my Blagues will be excerpts from past good Blagues with new thoughts surrounding them in a Back and Forth series.

So I have these stones, themed paperweights under which I put bits of paper on this or that subject, mainly creative projects. I may have shown you pictures of them in the past.

I collect them from the beach where I haven’t been able to bring myself since the death of that young man from a shark bite, the second one this season, though only this one fatal. I know I need to get out and enjoy our beach but I’ve been really spooked to be honest. This time last year we were beachcombing for bits and bobs from which we made these amazing costumes which weren’t celebrated enough for my taste lol. Who knew dystopia could be so much fun; although it always brings my mood down to run into a certain person from NYC who ended up being there as part of the band’s entourage. Of all the curmudgeons in all the cities to run into. And Chris Klein was kind of a dickhead. Debby was her usual lovely self. She doesn’t remember crushing on me at Todd’s birthday, when I danced and danced with Parker P. But so what. Not everyone can get me. Famous people have it easy. People flock to them and they can pick and choose and sort of wade through. Mayber Parker and JCM should play Stella and me in the TV version of our life. Could be cool. Or JCM and Cynthia Nixon if she returns to the world of entertainment. I think she was saved from something by losing the primary to Cuomo to be honest.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Libra 16° (October 9)

I am spending exactly nine minutes writing this today. I feel as if my time has been hijacked but I also must concede that that would be up to me to allow to happen. I have to do things in units of time today in order to stay on track. That much I know. Enough good is happening in my personal life that I must find my gratitutde within all of it. The idea of the tour planning (grant) and setting up a neo vaudeville circuit have do not in the end dovetail. It would be too easy to say that people wasted my time. But people wasted my time. My allowing them to do it any further would be my own damned fault.

Anyway, I am in a take-no-prisoners position. We have to now present this new piece in 2019. I will get all the information in that I need to make this reality happen. And I will make major bank on this. I just realized something: If we could be paid as part of the artistic team we could move forward with this botched project. I cannot believe I have had to spend so much time deconstructing grant projects that other people were meant to be managing. Either way, this leg of that journey is coming to a natural end. And my raging cough continues—I can’t sleep at night because all I do is wheeze when I lie down. I probably have pneumonia or something. Or well, I rather be killed by a Dickensian disease than by Mesothelioma or some modern-day malady.

They just put out a report that things are going to go to shit envronmentally in the next fifteen to twenty years give or take. That the ice capes will have severly melted causing the waters to rise signficantly. And It suddenly dawned on me why the Republican (Reptiles) might not care about climate change. They want a series of natural disasters they can blame. And then get the contracts for cleaning things up. Just like Cheney did rebuilding Iraq or Guiliani did post 911 (oh really, is it too soon?) That’s why Puerto Rico was allowed to happen the way it did. But seriously, think about it. Who risks suffering more than coastal elites. When will Replicand so anything about climate change. After I they let climate change happen just enough so that the waters rise and all the coastal elites are eliminated.

All I’m asking for is a little bit of a break–that’s all. It’s not like I even know how to squander anything. I would like a break because I feel that I would do right by it; and by doint right by it I would make myself proud; I would thereby make other people money as well. If I had loving family with a ton of extra cash, don’t you think I would love it if they would let me have some of it? Would I feel bad? No I’d want to make them proud along with myself. I do feel as if I wish as if I feel as I wish someone would invest in me. I wish someone with means would understand what a goldmine my brain can be; how deep a treasure my creativity is. I’m the smartest, most creative person I know really. I’m not the most prolific, nor am I the most naturally gifted. But I do spend far too much time in survival mode—not in a scary way—but it’s just that I never frontloaded making money in my experience. I always derived joy from doing and from experiences over things, let alone any kind of luxury. And, as that story goes, I feel I have at times experienced untold luxury, on many levels, that term applying (at least to me) to many other things besides material, aptly named stuff. It’s stuff. It gets in the way. I know more unhappy rich people than happy ones I can tell you that right now.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Libra 15° (October 8)

There is something very satisfying about getting caught up, after the fall out of summer and as the new series at Oberon kicks off this week, which I’m really looking forward to. We have Tori Scott on Thursday and I’ve replaced the errant Illustrious Blacks with Desiree Burch. Only a matter of time before I screw up and say Tori Burch. Which would be more excusable than saying Thory Burch. It will nearly be twelve years ago, this winter, that our original jewelry collection got the rug pulled out from under it by those terrible, terrible people. I find that they same characters, in life, who cling like crazy, spending nearly every waking hour with you; these are the same people that will turn on a dime or do a disappearing act. I’m very interested in working on songs, starting tomorrow which should be quite exciting. I like the singer of Screaming Females—I think she has a similar quality to his voice as Bryan Ferry.

One of the things I def need to do on Wednesday is focus on a beefed up list of venues. I can also play around with this on Thursday when I will have the whole day to myself. I look forward to feeling totally at one with my schedule and with my creativity. Making headway on finances first thing; and secondly reviewing the lawyers notes are what are most pressingly on the agenda. The house needs a deep clean the basement needs to be vacuumed yoga must start again and I am back on keto. Everything is fine there is truly nothing to worry about.

I want to tell Brian that spending many hours this week getting my brain around the reality and enormity of this project which necessarily includes adminstrative work associated with continually fulfilling the stipulations and requirements of the grant in addition to the booking and more creative bits. I think what I needed to do was just explore every nook and cranny of the requirements entailed and to begin making drafts and projections such that me might only have to tweak as we create an engine for moving this project along. These include final report narratives, agreement letters, thank you letters to legislature, a workable budget, a timeline and an extensive venue-outreach list. I had a bit of a mini meltdown when I realized how many hoops there will be to jump through, the largest of which is understanding what’s what (how we didn’t know that venues had to apply to NEFA themselves???? that was a big chunk of missing information!). But I’ve managed to spend the last three days focussed on bundling all these bits and bobs, making major inroads on them, and drafting any documentation that will need final version for submission/mailing etc.

I am also cultivating a giant Excel sheet of venues and will collect phone numbers and email addresses for each of the places located throughout the New England states. We will include way more many venues than we need and then go after spaces more surgically. I must plan trip through Vermont on the way up to Montreal and back through Maine on the return. I did read the script of Gravitational Fool and feel that we can add in some more jokes and really make the characters that much more different, one from another, the bits with the talkbacks at the end feel awkward. I feel like we should be coming to some crescendo, maybe we have to go into more an ecstatic mode? Liken the hanged man to a cocoon for our own metaphysical transformation?

I’m guessing the smartest thing to do each day is to write the astrological stuff and to stay off social media. I can keep a Blague narrative page handy to act as more of a record than a safe space for musing these next few days. I have to go so deep and be all about it.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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Libra 14° (October 7)

I was really looking forward to going to this art gala thing last night but I feel depressed now the day after. I was a bit sideswiped by my host asking me about an incident that occured a year ago at the restaurant owned by another guest. And I felt hijacked and really put on the spot. Then the person to my left bumped me and spilled red wine all over my trousers; and then another one of the drunken people at my table picked at the string label of my Margiela jacket while I was midstream at the urinal. People were just so drunk and unruly and I felt unsafe during the evening. We managed to leave early and just did a French exit. Yesterday, too, Kavanaugh was confirmed so the day already felt lousy. And I cannot kick this stupid cold I still have. Added to which, it seems so many of our efforts have been falling on dead ears. I’m so tired of the ambushes, the lion’s dens, the garden paths I’m led up. The users and the overpromisers, all in all, the malignant narcissists (aka same old tune). Hell really does feel like others now and I am making a giant about-face right now and putting putting focus firmly on myself. I agreed to be the non-profit agent of a tour the work of which was meant to be all about putting that tour together and the writing of releases and promotional materials and all such things as goes along with that. What I didn’t sign up for are the countless hours that have to go into the fulfilling of the grant admin itself. I have to write letters to my state representatives even.

I am an artist not an administrator and I really need to start valuing that. There is an argument for writing when you feel like it. But I like the exercise of the daily thing, even if I go months without anything earth-shattering to seay. For me it’s about facility more than anything else. And luckily I am just about an hour away from getting some serious creative thoughts I need for my book writing and my creative life down onto paper. This also serves as a giant to-do list. And I pride myself on knocking things off my list as best I can. I did talk to David Drake about performing the Tru piece. Whatever comes of it will come of it. And, more than anything, I am so ready to get my witch on. It is so frustrating—and I know it’s a universal experience of being human—but I’m really bent on closing the gap between the life I’m currently living and where I think it should be. I don’t see any reason why I can’t just now put all the pieces together. So that’s what I’m going to do. The one thing I can say about myself is I like myself. I’m not perfect nor do I want to be. But I am kind and if I’m bound to hurt anyone, it’s typically myself. But I’m done with it I really am.

I am older and I’m nobody’s famous offspring. But I have done a great many things of which I am proud. Do I regret that they have in large part not been sustainable. Maybe. But I chalk that up to the fact that I don’t have heavy enough a dose of narcissism, I really do. I have put a lot of work into ideas that others can invest in. And as someone who has always invested in others it truly is time for me to get a little love back for all we put out there. It really only feels fair at this point. There is no guarantee I realize; but if those who’ve made promises, unsolicited, don’t materialize at this juncture, it saddens me to say that it will change some things for me, sadly. I have to put my head down and power through one way or the other. And perhaps I need to get my brain around living, once again, frugally on surprise. I’m always happiest doing for myself in any case.

In other news, I think I have a herniated disk in my neck. And this two week old cough is not helping any. I cough so hard I almost black out. That cannot be good.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox

Libra 13° (October 6)

I’m having this weird visceral reaction to what’s happening and it is surprisingly not a bad sensation. Hear me out. I think because the gloves are off and they’ve played their hand: I feel unapologetically Democrat and American. These people aren’t true Americans—they are all in some way traitors, and we shall discover the specifics thereof very soon. Also, I know this is a bit woo-woo but if one were to trust in a higher power then this all might be one big Icarian set-up for the GOP. They pushed it, pressed their luck. Now anything can happen. And maybe, just maybe, karma will be the kind of bitch I can get with.

I have to start giving myself some positive feedback and I do need to read some books again. Look, if this is going to be a quiet, slow winter then so be it. I might as well give over to the relaxation and get my ass back to yoga class and all that good stuff. I have to stop obsessing over every single little thing or word. It is so not worth it. On Monday I will work till 10 on the Blagues and then I shall work until noon on book stuff. Then in the afternoon I will get finances up to speed. And Monday evening I can review what the lawyers had to say. I must take it easy Tuesday and Wednesday as well. It’s so funny because there was the festival in September, then trip to NYC then Boston and I’m still in this kind of hyperdrive when really all I need do right now is learn to relax. The state of the world, such as it is, is really terrible. But there is precious little I can do about it. I can only move forward.

I don’t know what is worse—people’s FB accounts being cloned or having to hear about it through the death of a thousand messages. I’m now convinced nobody is sending me anything—that that’s the hacky bit. Life is increasingly an unreality on so many levels, it might as well be one, too, on this most banal of them. Just quite FB! Meanwhile, let the rest of us happily have their identities stolen in peace!

We had a nice meeting just the two of us this morning and I feel like we really got onto the same page—for the first time al the numbers matched. I then spent several hours working on the tour project. The irony of this project is that I find myself working many hours on a grant that is designed for someone else; when I’ve made clear that I needed help from said individual for our own grants. There was supposed to be this person on hand to take care of the work but she quit right at the start. The Boston crowd is very precious as a whole I’ve learned. They are not necessarily hard-boiled like the New York stock; they’re easily triggered and have huge chips on their shoulders, I think, because they don’t live in NYC and they aren’t Amanda Palmer. Though many performers in Boston are Amanda Palmer clones. They are very attached to their identities and I’ve never met so many self-professed trans people who don’t live or function as trans, seemingly, in my life.

It’s that superior-inferiority thing though that is most irksome. And even people I work with at brick and mortar venues are constantly jockeying and trying to grab credit where it isn’t always due. I really can’t give a shit about it anymore. I’m on my own path and it doesn’t include worrying about this sort of thing. People will do what they do. I can only have compassion for them.

To view the original Sabian Symbol themed 2015 Blague corresponding to this day: Flashback! The degree of the Sabian Symbol may be higher than the one listed here  as the symbols cluminate in the next degree. There are 360  degrees spread over 365 days.

 Typos happen—I don’t have time or an intern to edit.*
Copyright 2018 Wheel Atelier Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Get your HAUTE ASTROLOGY 2018 Weekly Horoscope ebooks by Starsky + Cox